It's Happy Hour!

I'm going to need her to come back this time next year and re-organize everything that I'm going to accidentally un-organize. Some people are just like that. I'm not perfect.

Come on in and have a drink

Creepy Baby: The Christmas Edition

December 6, 2011

Earlier in 2011 I wrote a story about Creepy Baby, Harley’s American Girl doll who appeared possessed by something not of this world. Well. I’m afraid I woke up to find…SHE’S BACK. Kinda like Elf on the Shelf but less homosexual. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Anyway, the following is a disturbing and [...]

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After all the overwhelming evidence, I am a believer

December 2, 2011

The last week I have spent decorating the house for the Holidays. After I was finished no one really seemed to notice how hard I had been working. I know this because I said (more than 12 times) “Look at the house, kids. It’s beginning to look like Christmas in here, don’t you agree?” I [...]

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Return to You: Because it’s better to be you than that hairy guy who keeps staring at you in the mirror. Oh wait, that’s you.

November 30, 2011

Since the time I was about seventeen, I’ve always felt like the same person inside. I mean sure, I’ve matured over the years (I think, I HOPE) and my priorities have certainly changed because I no longer look forward to the weekends so I can party like it’s 1999. Now I bake and attend soccer [...]

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Nine hundred dollar boots

November 29, 2011

Something magical tends to happen to me after I’ve had a couple of glasses of wine. I’m an unbelievable singer. Like, why am I not a huge recording star? I give really good advice. “WHAT? He told you your butt doesn’t look good in those jeans?! You have an AMAZING butt. Screw that guy. No, [...]

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Puzzled

November 28, 2011

Do you ever get in a rut? OK that’s a dumb question. Of course you do. You’re human. At least I’m assuming you’re human. Not that if you’re *not* human you *too* can’t find yourself in a rut. Now I feel like I’ve offended non-humans. Maybe I should start over. I’m in a rut. There. [...]

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Richard Cranium

November 19, 2011

The other day I was sitting at the kitchen table, writing. No, not anything you would want to read or even the stuff I *should* be writing (sorry Paul, I know I’m late on my deadline and I promise I will have my January article to you ASAP, but you will soon learn if you [...]

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Christmas is officially cancelled.

November 15, 2011

Well. It’s only November 15th but Christmas is already ruined…so I’m canceling it. Courtesy of two miniature a-holes who shall remain nameless. Harley and Ethan. At the end of the upstairs hallway in my home is a room/closet. It’s not big enough to be an official “room” and it’s a little large to be considered [...]

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And that’s why you shouldn’t have children

November 11, 2011

As a mom to four kids you learn something pretty fast. You learn you can never ever ever NEVER go out of town. The only exception to that rule is if you take your kids with you. Then you CAN go out of town but you want to kill yourself in the process. So basically [...]

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