why you shouldn’t tell your family where you live

Rodeos ain’t for pussies. Or really cute blonde women who are already on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

One of the highlights of living in Cowtown (Fort Worth, Texas) is the annual Fat Stock Show and Rodeo. It happens this time every year. That’s why it has “annual” in its name.

It’s a big deal around here. You even get a day off from school. It’s called Rodeo Day. But since most grown ups [...]

I'm afraid it's serious. I've got the DGs.

So the other day I had lunch with my dad and he asked me why I never talk about his side of the family. Because his family DOES offer a lot in the material department. But I told him I really don’t feel comfortable bagging his side of the family. I only feel OK doing [...]

More proof that Tommy deserves a better wife

It’s been a while since I prepared a meal. And when I say it’s *been a while* I mean I can’t remember the last time I did.

Because really? The kids don’t care. They would eat Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup every day or Kraft Mac and Cheese.

And I follow behind them and eat their leftovers.

It’s a [...]

don’t come near me with that zucchini!

it’s raining here in florida. scratch that. it’s coming down so hard that the pounding rain woke me up. i was kind of glad to be startled out of my sleep because i was having the worst dream ever.

i dreamt i killed my grandmother—with a piece of zucchini. i beat [...]