why you shouldn’t tell your family where you live

Rodeos ain’t for pussies. Or really cute blonde women who are already on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

February 6, 2010

One of the highlights of living in Cowtown (Fort Worth, Texas) is the annual Fat Stock Show and Rodeo. It happens this time every year. That’s why it has “annual” in its name. It’s a big deal around here. You even get a day off from school. It’s called Rodeo Day. But since most grown [...]

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I’m afraid it’s serious. I’ve got the DGs.

November 23, 2009

So the other day I had lunch with my dad and he asked me why I never talk about his side of the family. Because his family DOES offer a lot in the material department. But I told him I really don’t feel comfortable bagging his side of the family. I only feel OK doing [...]

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More proof that Tommy deserves a better wife

November 17, 2009

It’s been a while since I prepared a meal. And when I say it’s *been a while* I mean I can’t remember the last time I did. Because really? The kids don’t care. They would eat Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup every day or Kraft Mac and Cheese. And I follow behind them and eat their [...]

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don’t come near me with that zucchini!

November 28, 2008

it’s raining here in florida. scratch that. it’s coming down so hard that the pounding rain woke me up. i was kind of glad to be startled out of my sleep because i was having the worst dream ever. i dreamt i killed my grandmother—with a piece of zucchini. i beat her to death with [...]

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why you shouldn’t tell your family where you live

November 6, 2008

after i wrote this, the commish made a comment and i knew then that there was a story waiting to come out. so i asked him to spill the goods. and boy did he. after reading his tale, i’m not sure i’m qualified to bitch about my family again. one thing was made crystal clear, [...]

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