Word Up this blog follows the life of a fictional character. i know, i know, it sounds like it could be true, and some of it is. but it's mostly WAY exaggerated and not meant to be taken seriously. i mean honestly, who would be THIS ridiculous in real life? also, no vaginas were harmed in the making of this blog. and lastly, this disclaimer is mostly bullshit also. but my therapist made me do it.
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One of the highlights of living in Cowtown (Fort Worth, Texas) is the annual Fat Stock Show and Rodeo. It happens this time every year. That’s why it has “annual” in its name.
It’s a big deal around here. You even get a day off from school. It’s called Rodeo Day. But since most grown ups [...]
i was just reading a story about a 3 year old boy who was denied by the local grocery store of having his cake decorated with his full name…which happens to be adolf hitler.
in case you didn’t know this, hitler was a bad man–the worst. and really this kid’s parents shouldn’t be surprised at [...]
…i’m exhausted. i don’t think i’ve been this tired in my whole life–not even when i was 8 months pregnant, four different times. (i say 8 months pregnant because i only made it to 9 months once thanks to my body’s misunderstanding of the 40 week gestastion period in humans–mine seems to think [...]
dear hubs,
i always thought you were the one. when i met you 10 years ago i said to myself, “girl, now this guy’s worth holding on to.” you were practically perfect in every way (it’s hard typing that sentence without busting out in laughter or falling out of my chair) and nothing you [...]
everyone, stop what you’re doing. we have a man down. i repeat, we have. a man. down.
it appears that the tallest and strongest one in our house (he can open any jar i give him–yes, he’s THAT strong) has come down with the dreaded cold. i’m afraid it’s serious. all forward [...]
so, tommy and i left town this morning. we’re at the beach house in florida (it’s our anniversary). so we have four glorious days of doing nothing–except right now, he’s on the sofa with his laptop and i’m at the desk on mine. we haven’t spoken to each other in like 10 minutes except when [...]
first off, yes, i’m ok. i haven’t died, changed my identity and moved away, or forgotten about you. i’ve just been off. uninspired. material-less. humor challenged. whatever you want to call it–that’s me. so thank you all for the emails that basically read like this: HEY! WHAT THE FUCK? WHEN YOU GONNA BLOG?
well, my friends, [...]
if ever i was going to become a serious alcoholic/drug addict, this week would have been the time i started my new career.
early in the week i had this to clean up. ethan, aka the golden boy, found an ink pad and decided it was a good idea to rub it all over himself. [...]
it’s called, what one word best describes your mate?i’ll go first. my word is…
CLUELESS!
heh. try and beat THAT! c’mon, i dare you.
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