why certain people should not be allowed to procreate

Rodeos ain’t for pussies. Or really cute blonde women who are already on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

February 6, 2010

One of the highlights of living in Cowtown (Fort Worth, Texas) is the annual Fat Stock Show and Rodeo. It happens this time every year. That’s why it has “annual” in its name. It’s a big deal around here. You even get a day off from school. It’s called Rodeo Day. But since most grown [...]

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I’m afraid it’s serious. I’ve got the DGs.

November 23, 2009

So the other day I had lunch with my dad and he asked me why I never talk about his side of the family. Because his family DOES offer a lot in the material department. But I told him I really don’t feel comfortable bagging his side of the family. I only feel OK doing [...]

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When your penis itches

November 3, 2009

I have totally failed in the serving the family dinner department lately. Not that we’ve ever lived a sort of traditional family life (meaning my big strong husband goes to work while I stay home and roll socks into balls). No. It’s always been like an accidental phenomenon if I prepared a meal and served [...]

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I’ll show you hairy

October 20, 2009

Today is the first day I get to drive since having surgery a week ago. I must admit it was a little scary getting behind the wheel. Before I put the key in the ignition–which by the way, is a story in itself. Since I haven’t *used* the car in a week, I had NO [...]

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Have you seen this girl?

September 21, 2009

MISSING! Warning: This person may appear normal (meaning not insane) but if you see her approach with caution and with cupcakes and wine preferably white and of the Pinot Grigio kind (No amount of cupcake and wine is too much) This once attractive girl was last seen leaving her house kicking and screaming–something indecipherable but [...]

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When you realize your kid is funnier than you–And she’s FOUR!

August 26, 2009

Some years back, I took my two oldest daughters, who were five and four at the time, to the hospital to visit my ailing grandfather. During that time, the hospital was growing, which meant, construction–and lots of it. It took us nearly twenty minutes to maneuver through the side streets to reach the gated area [...]

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why tommy wants me dead so he can marry shania twain (who’s single by the way)

January 14, 2009

did you know it’s virtually impossible to type without the use of your thumb? i’m finding this out the hard way. i…just moments ago…cut my right thumb trying to put a picture in a frame. i don’t recommend using a pair of scissors to try and do anything other than what they indended for. i [...]

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why people continue to suck and also surprise me

January 12, 2009

what is it with people (without kids) and their dislike of people (with kids). what? you were never a kid? you just showed up here on planet earth, a full grown douchey adult? i think not. although, you are douchey. bra-vo. *claps hands together and gives standing ovation* my latest encounter with said annoying, intolerant [...]

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