UPDATE!!! The winner of the best ‘He’s not a pervert, he’s my dad’ t-shirt slogan contest is announced in the comments section. We had 2 winners because I had the hardest time deciding the best one. I loved ALL of the entries. You guys are funny. Stop it, Ok? Seriously. I’m supposed to be the funny one, remember?
So I don’t know if I mentioned this or not, but my dad is MOVING BACK TO TEXAS!! It’s exciting, I know. He’s been living in Kauai for 6 years now and he FINALLY has the good sense to move back. Read: the guilt I’ve been laying out is getting to him. Not really. I only WISH I had that kind of power over people.
It will be sorta weird having him back for occasions like birthdays, sporting events, and holidays. But I’m SURE I can adjust.
We’ve already decided we’re going to get Dallas Mavericks tickets and that will be “our thing.”
So this morning we were talking and he said he was looking for a car to buy when he moves back in November. And it was mentioned that he would like to own a convertible sports car. And then he added that I will look hot riding next to him in said sports car. Which, first off, ick. Having your dad say you’ll look “hot” is kinda creepy.
And then I was like, “eww. People are going to think you’re some dirty old man going thru a midlife crisis and involved with a much younger (and VERY attractive) woman.”
He laughed.
I went on. “Seriously, I’m going to have to wear a t-shirt that says ‘He’s not a perv, he’s my dad,’ whenever I go anywhere with you. And I’m gonna need like a lot of them since we’re going to hang out together so much.”
Again, he laughed.
But I’m serious. That’s what people think these days. Admit it. When you see an older man out with a younger woman you RARELY think she’s his daughter. You immediately flip the switch to INAPPROPRIATE RELATIONSHIP mode. And then you sit in judgement. I’m right about this. Cuz I do it too. Face it, that’s where we are as a society. (not that there’s anything wrong with that–ok, maybe just a little).
BUT! God forbid something happen to Tommy and a younger man were to catch my attention, I’m not above going there. I’m just sayin. What? It’s not the same! Cougar = Totally acceptable awesomeness
Not my older boyfriend.
I call him “Dad.”
Ok. I need t-shirt slogans.
How about “No, we’re not having sex. I’m not from Arkansas. Or Kentucky.”
(sorry to all my Arkansas and Kentucky friends–but c’mon, this isn’t the first time you’ve heard this)
Or… “Yes, I know the older guy with me is hot–see the FAMILY resemblance?”
And… “Older man + Younger woman = Bleck if you’re related
Please feel free to leave your own suggestions in the comments section. Best one (as judged by yours truly) will receive a signed copy of my book, Heaping Spoonful. Sorry if you already have the book–enter anyway. I’ll lick your copy. There. Bet you don’t have one of those.
{ 23 comments }
