Uncategorized

I hope we can still be BFFs

by Shauna on February 3, 2012

Very few things get under my skin. Seriously I’m like the easiest going person I know. I’m not bragging, it’s just the truth.

Everyone knows I hate the stick-figure family decals on the backs of cars.

And improper use of grammar drives me absolutely bananas. You’re equals you are. Your equals YOUR. Why must we keep having this conversation?

But those things aside, I feel like I need to spread this message.

Stop using LOL.

I’ve never been more serious.

If you LOL me there better be something terribly wrong with you. As in you’re about to die.

In fact, I’ll put this out there. Let’s just agree that if you use LOL when communicating with me (via email, text, blog comment, whatever), you’ve been abducted by terrorists and are being tortured. That will be my cue to dial 911.

Because…and I don’t mean this the wrong way…LOL is about the dumbest thing you can say to someone. While I appreciate that whatever just happened made you LOL, the bigger picture is…I don’t believe that you actually laughed out loud. I’m not trying to be a dick, I’m just KIR (keeping it real).

When texting became popular a few years ago I think I said something like, “Let the transformation from personal relationships to robotic responses begin!”

And here we are with our LOLs and our OMGs and our ROFLAMOs…and all those other stupid impersonal capital letter groupings that make me want to punch someone really hard in the face.

I can’t be the only one who feels this way. But in case I am, just know that (not always but in this case) I’m right and you’re all wrong.

To recap: LOL is a mayday call and ONLY TO BE USED IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY.

(I wonder if President Obama has to deal with these kinds of difficult issues or if it’s just me)

{ 21 comments }

I would be terrible at writing knock-knock jokes

by Shauna on February 1, 2012

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

Me, who’s been stuck at home for the past two days with two sick kids. I’m about to lose my shit and I need a good place to hide for a few hours. Are you going to open the door or am I going to have to kick it down? I’m strong enough you know. I’m an ex-gymnast.

….

Hello? Mom?

We’re not home.

I can’t wait for the day my kids come back (after moving out) and I can pretend I’m not home. What must that be like? I’m guessing it’s pretty awesome. But also kinda mean. And yet, it’s marked on my calendar. Yep, in the year two-thousand-and-twenty-five I can officially not answer the door if I don’t want to. But wait, let’s think about this. In 2025 I’ll be (41 plus 13 equals 54) fifty-four and I’ll probably be knee-deep in Alzheimer’s and forget where I put my calendar and I’ll just open the door and let them in. This plan sucks.

Anyway, it’s true about being at home with sick kids the last two days. Their symptoms are fever and achy bones. What is that disease? Because Dr Google diagnosed them as having either Dengue Fever or a yeast infection. I’m beginning to wonder where Google got his degree because he’s kind of an idiot.

But just because I’ve been at home playing nurse maid to the sicklies (which includes fetching them water and changing the channel on the TV for them after every half hour because they’re too weak to press the button on the remote for which I’m not at all losing my nurturing spirit OR my patience) doesn’t mean I haven’t gotten anything done. Oh I have, mister.

With the help of my good friend, Jen, my home is now organized.

See what we did in the pantry.

And then we moved to my closet and bathroom. She’s a genius.

If you entered the cutest muffin pan giveaway, you’ll remember I said I would announce the winner on Tuesday. Well, since now it’s Wednesday I guess it’s as good a time as any to tell you that Sara (comment #49) WON!

Thanks to everyone who entered. Be on the lookout for the next giveaway!

Also, HELP ME……..

{ 3 comments }

Some things you can’t untaste

January 30, 2012

Disclaimer: I was not paid by the Jelly Belly corporation for this video review. Because if they *HAD* offered to pay me I would have been fired.

Read the full article →

Somewhere over the rainbow, you find she’s all grown up

January 29, 2012

Yesterday marked a pretty big milestone for me. My first born turned 18. And throughout the day I experienced a range of emotions that went from elation to depression to excitement to sadness–and a whole other smegma of feelings in between. When I asked her what kind of cake she wanted, she answered with the [...]

Read the full article →

Late Bloomer

January 25, 2012

Aside from being the last girl in my middle school class to kiss a boy, I was also the last one to get boobs AND my period. I remember the day Jill came to school wearing a bra. She had to, she said. Her boobs had come in and were poking through her shirt. Her [...]

Read the full article →

Where’s my ‘essert?

January 23, 2012

For many years I was a mother to only girls. The rules changed when Ethan was born six years ago. Before then I never had the opportunity to experience certain things. Like mother/son dances. And now, I’ve done that too. It was one of the greatest joys of my life. When the note came home [...]

Read the full article →

Borderline pornographic

January 19, 2012

Like many people who blog, I get inundated with advertising pitches. On any given morning I can open my email and find (what seems like) a million requests to link to this site or mention this product or tweet about that or give a shout out to (fill in the blank). And a lot of [...]

Read the full article →

Allergic, but still adorable.

January 16, 2012

Last week was tough, and so far this week ain’t gettin any easier. Why just yesterday I had my first asthma attack in over TWENTY years. And well, because it’s been two decades since I’ve needed an inhaler I scrambled to find one of the kids’ inhalers. Naturally I found Ethan’s in the junk drawer [...]

Read the full article →

← Previous Entries