So I was standing in my closet, getting dressed for the day.
I pulled on my favorite pair of jeans and noticed they were tight. Like too tight to button. And naturally I convinced myself that I couldn’t button them because they had just been washed. You know, cuz jeans totally shrink when you dry them. [...]
dear ungrateful children who call me mother,
i know it seems like i’m here to serve your every whim, but let me be the first to set the record straight.
i HAVE to take care of you. i don’t necessarily WANT to…all the time, or on weekends, or during prime time television. we all make [...]
tommy hurt my feelings yesterday. we were leaving for a meeting with my new pr firm (they rock, by the way) and JOKINGLY i said, “well, if this writing/entertaining thing doesn’t work out, i can always go out and get a real job.
he chokes (unfortunately not to death) and then laughs and says, “doing what?”
i [...]