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Have you seen this girl?

MISSING!

Warning: This person may appear normal (meaning not insane)
but if you see her approach with caution
and with cupcakes
and wine
preferably white and of the Pinot Grigio kind
(No amount of cupcake and wine is too much)

This once attractive girl was last seen leaving her house
kicking and screaming–something indecipherable
but sounding much like
“Help me, these people are trying [...]

Why I shouldn’t be allowed to text message

Tired.

That’s me in a nutshell.

I haven’t slept much this week. My mind is like the Mall of America–a lot of shit going on and no end in sight to the madness–WITHOUT the food court.

I blame my kids. Well, not blame them directly. They’re a by-product actually. OK, that’s not true. It’s totally their fault.

Anyway, I’ve [...]