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don’t come near me with that zucchini!

it’s raining here in florida. scratch that. it’s coming down so hard that the pounding rain woke me up. i was kind of glad to be startled out of my sleep because i was having the worst dream ever.

i dreamt i killed my grandmother—with a piece of zucchini. i beat [...]

if i’m going to hell, i’m taking my commemorative plate with me

we’re leaving today for florida. the whole lot of us. we’ll be there all week for the turkey holiday; also known as ‘the week i eat so much that i have to pull out my fat pants, but hey, that pumpkin pie sure was tasty.’ i guess i could NOT over eat/over indulge, but where’s [...]

the barbara walters show

the other day one of my cousins called and left a message on my voicemail. it basically said something like this. hey, i just got off the phone with mimi (our grandmother) and she wanted me to leave my address with you so you could tell it to her, so here it is. i thought, [...]