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why people continue to suck and also surprise me

what is it with people (without kids) and their dislike of people (with kids). what? you were never a kid? you just showed up here on planet earth, a full grown douchey adult? i think not. although, you are douchey. bra-vo. *claps hands together and gives standing ovation*

my [...]

and that about sums it up

conversation i just had with the e-man:

e: “mommy, my butt hurts. will you put your finga in it?”

me, sighing heavily: “what do you mean ‘put my finger in it?’”

e: “it itches. stick your finga in my butt and scatch it.”

me: “wait. i thought you said it hurts. now it itches? make up your mind dude.”

e: [...]

why have i not heard about monkey prostitutes before now?

i’m afraid i’m becoming one of those angry, bitter women. you know, the ones who have a scowl permenantly fashioned on their faces? they constantly look like they’ve just swallowed something sour. well, my brow is furrowed as we speak.

i don’t know what happened. one minute i was excited to come to [...]