yesterday i had to take my car to the body shop. no, i didn’t have an accident. tommy did. in my car. well, it wasn’t actually his fault. he was rear ended while sitting at a red light. so technically it could have happened to anyone, but the fact that it happened to him while he was driving MY car makes me crazy. this also after he got popped by one of those red light cameras in my car–to which they mailed the ticket to ME since the car is in my name. how’d i know it wasn’t me? i checked the date of the ticket and i was out of town when the offense occurred–and…i don’t run red lights…especially that one.
so anyway, i made my way to the enterprise rental office and found myself in line behind 5 people. if i could have turned around and left i would have, but i had no choice. i needed a car. but i can’t stress enough how much i HATE long lines.
the woman standing at the counter was in the process of picking out her car. she was an older, retired woman i might add. her choices were: a pt cruiser, a kia spectra, and a ford fusion. all small cars. she wasn’t impressed with any of the choices. her husband, who was sitting in one of the plastic waiting chairs, yelled out, “what are our options?” to which she turned around and shouted back, “a pt cruiser, and 2 other small cars.” her husband hollered back (while still seated in his chair) “well, definitely not the pt cruiser. just pick something and let’s go!” i couldn’t agree with him more. in fact, i quite liked his no nonsense style. i wondered why he’d left her in charge in the first place. and then i remembered: he probably didn’t have a choice. sorry, lost my head there for a minute. he got up from his seat then and joined his wife at the counter. she continued to peruse the picture of cars that the enterprise rental guy had given her. and i sighed heavily. all i could think was, please don’t let me get stuck with the pt cruiser. i’ll drive anything else, but please not that.
she looked up at her husband and said, “well, not a one of these cars has a hood ornament.” (i swear to god i’m not making this up) then the husband made a fatal error. he said back, “point a to point b. that’s all we need. it’s temporary. pick the ford.” she whipped her head around (it may have spun all the way around–it happened so fast–it’s a blur and i was suddenly frightened) and shouted, “I DON’T CARE IF I HAVE TO WELD A BRASS HORSE ON THE CAR MYSELF, I’M HAVING A HOOD ORNAMENT.”
the enterprise guy stopped typing at this point and looked up at her. he said, “um, ma’am, we’d appreciate if you wouldn’t weld anything to the hood of our car.”
her husband laughed, the man behind them laughed, i laughed. she, on the other hand, was not impressed.
the girl was serious about her hood ornament. i watched as she slid in the driver’s seat of her rented ford fusion, obviously disappointed at the lack of brass figurine on the end of the hood. her eyes were locked on the place where an ornament would have been fashioned in the good ole days. i was sad for her. the hood ornament is a dying breed and i hadn’t noticed before. none of the new cars come with hood ornaments. not even the cadillac. i never considered that people actually liked having metal do-hickeys bolted to the hood. and then i thought to myself, i gotta see her car. i wonder what she has sitting on the end of her hood. a cross with jesus? a mermaid? the mug of george w?
silver lining to all this: i thought of a possible new career for me if this writing thing doesn’t pan out. i could design and sell hood ornaments. i would be such a hit with the older crowd, no?
oh, and i didn’t get stuck with the pt cruiser. the man in front of me was happy to take it. i’m in the kia spectra. and harley loves it. she thinks it’s the fanciest car she’s ever been in and wants to buy one when she’s older. boy is she easy. could it be? maybe she’s not my child after all?
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