Recently I was watching an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond and the topic of conversation was about messing up lyrics to songs…namely Church hymns.
One of the ladies on there said, “You know the song What A Friend We Have In Jesus? I used to sing, ‘What a friend we have in CHEESES.’”
And it brought back a memory from my own childhood…one that involves getting the words wrong.
I went to preschool and Kindergarten at my church (although it wasn’t officially referred to as “Kindergarten” but “Preschool 5″ because I’m pretty sure my church was against all things German, because of that whole Hitler Nazi thing, which was confusing since my family was German) and every day before lunch we said the same prayer.
God is great.
God is good.
Lettuce thank Him for our food.
And every time we prayed that prayer I thought to myself, what’s lettuce’s problem anyway? Every other vegetable IN THE WORLD plus fruits, plants, animals, and people (I assumed) were thankful and had thanked God for the food (and probably other things too, but mostly for food) except lettuce? Why wasn’t this being talked about more? Why hadn’t my dad (THE ASSOCIATE PASTOR AT MY CHURCH) preached about this?
At the time this was happening my feelings for lettuce were this. I liked salad. Well, really I liked the salad that my Mimi made. I don’t know what it was about the way she placed mixed greens in a bowl (along with tomato, onion, radishes, and dressing) that set her salad apart from everyone else’s salad, but she held some kind of salad making magic powers.
But the whole “lettuce refusing to Thank God for our food” part had my insides torn to bits. Should I stop eating lettuce until it gets its act together?
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking this is the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard, and you know what? I agree with you. But you have no idea what a relief it was to learn (from my younger brother, no doubt) that the words to the prayer are “Let US think Him for our food.” Not lettuce.
Turns out lettuce isn’t the asshole I’d grown up believing it was.
PS. My brother just corrected me like two years ago. When I was 40.