Last week was tough, and so far this week ain’t gettin any easier.
Why just yesterday I had my first asthma attack in over TWENTY years. And well, because it’s been two decades since I’ve needed an inhaler I scrambled to find one of the kids’ inhalers. Naturally I found Ethan’s in the junk drawer in the kitchen.
I yanked off the cap, put the nozzle up to my mouth, and inhaled. Once. Then twice.
Fifteen minutes later something was wrong.
I felt my whole body heat up. I was sure I was turning bright red too. How’d I know that? Because Harley walked into the living room, took one look at me, and shouted, “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? WHY ARE ALL RED?”
I looked down at my arms. This is what I saw.
I'll save you from looking at pics of the rest of me. Trust me though, I'm hideous.
I’d been through this before. It’s called anaphylaxis. And it’s some bad shit. Luckily my airway didn’t close up. I just swelled up like a giant…well…swollen person.
I yelled out, “BENADRYL! I NEED BENADRYL!”
For which we had none. And CVS apparently doesn’t deliver.
Long story short…my teenager went to fetch me some. And while she was, you know, shopping, she also bought a deck of cards and some dry shampoo. And a poster board for her history project. No rush here, Riley, I’m only DYING from ALLERGIC REACTION.
Yada yada yada, I’m doing much better now. The rash is totally gone and I fear I may actually live to GIVE THIS SUPER COOL CAMERA TO ONE OF YOU!!
Was that not the weirdest story leading up to a giveaway EVER? I like that about me.
Anyway, this camera is the coolest little gem I’ve come across in a long time. Remember Polaroid cameras? Well this is like that, but sleeker and hipper. And the pictures are mini-sized and ADORABLE.
You want to win this? Good, because I have an extra one.
To enter to win this funny fun fun camera (plus film!) all you have to do is leave a comment telling me how you keep from dying from things. Like from allergies, or a bus running you over, or from stuffing too many mini marshmallows in your mouth, you know, normal ways in which you defy death daily.
A winner will be picked at random and announced on Wednesday, January 16.
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I’m possibly allergic to some kind of red dye. But doctors refuse to be more specific. So pretty much anything edible that is remotely red, pink, or purple could set me off. My face swells so big it looks positively poppable. Glad you’re feeling better!!
glad you’re okay. i’m allergic to lots of things. the doctors gave me an epi-pen if i ever need to use it, but honestly, the thought of stabbing myself with a needle freaks me out enough that i would probably never work up the courage to use it.
We all know it’s about the tin-foil hats. With all that’s out there to kill us it makes me want to hide in my bunker. Next thing you know they’ll be telling us coffee is worse than cigarettes. At that point there is no keeping me from deaths door.
Also, gauze. That stops blood. I have boys. We go through a lot of gauze.
As far as we know I am not allergic to anything! BUT I am DEATHLY afraid that I MIGHT be allergic to bees. I am 32 years old and never been stung by one. You should see the dance I do when bees are around, then I throw a small hissy fit and move as far away as possible. Once I ended up like 6 picnic tables away from my friends who REFUSED to move, sigh. Another time at the lake I fell into a huge mud puddle trying to get away from some wasps.
I am allergic to bananas…. which STINKS because I LOVE LOVE LOVE Peanut butter and Banana sammies…… So What I do is I take like three bites of banana and cut them really small so tiny pieces wont stick around in my mouth too long
Im lame lol
I’m allergic to tiramisu. Not just any tiramisu mind you, just one specific ‘store brand’. Needless to say if I eat it again, I’ll end up dead. YAY!
Downfall? It’s my all time favorite dessert and I can’t safely eat it unless I make it myself :p
Steph´s last [type] ..The naked truth.
I’m allergic to all kinds of antibiotics and drugs including codeine (no fun!). Mostly, I need to watch out for stupid doctors that try to kill me by being extra insistent that they actually tell me what medicine they’re prescribing.
julie´s last [type] ..American Astronomical Society Meeting Food Adventures
That picture gave me chills. My son had a similar reaction to (now two kinds of) antibiotics. I know that rash very, very well. How do I keep from dying? Worry wasn’t working too well for me so now my daily dose of Celexa keeps my heart from jumping from my body. So far, so good. I’m still here.
Jane´s last [type] ..Underweight. Overweight. I Still See Fat When I Look In The Mirror.
I avoid stairs at all costs. I fall going up AND down. I’m very talented.
I’m not allergic to anything that I know of. Except percocet. Except apparently I’m not actual ALLERGIC to percocet because it doesn’t give me hives or anything, it just makes me throw up.
rachel´s last [type] ..show off your shot
I’m allergic to codeine and to bees. Last time I was stung by a bee was when I was about 8. Knee swelled up to the size of my thigh. And codeine gives me hives. Although APPARENTLY, some drugs like hydrocodone are OK for me to take and not kill me… confusing, but so far, so good, cause I’m still alive!
I already knew I was allergic to sulfa antibiotics. I discovered this summer that I’m highly allergic to the chemicals in most sunscreens — hives from head to toe and miserable. So I have to put the chalky zinc kind on the kids and myself so I don’t have a reaction just spraying it on them.
But that’s not how I defy death everyday. I do that by being a smartass to my husband!
I find myself severely allergic to hard work which really sucks because I have kids and work and the house and, oh yeah, the husband. No, seriously, though, I’m glad you’re alright! I’d miss your blog if you weren’t, it’s a bright spot in my long, work-filled days
By never stepping on a crack….
Always have a epi-pen handy!! Bees, Cinnamon, honey, 16 types of trees, milk,grass and dirt are my enemies. My husband calls me a liability I just like to think that I am a daredevil. Never know what is going to try and kill me- ALWAYS. BE. PREPARED. I hope you feel better soon. Hives are not the most sexy look- I have been told that a few times in my life.
My sister once had a reaction like that to a sulfa drug or something. They brought in all 12 doctors in the practice to look at her. OMG. But enough about her, this is about me. I mean you. Oh whatthefuckever. I’m allergic to ambien. The only way I deal with it is to let the giraffes that live under my bed when I take it to continue cleaning up the mess the monkeys made. I just sit there and look at the vines taking over my bed and wonder when they’re going to strangle me into a deep dark sleep. Glad you’re alive.
Jana A (@jana0926)´s last [type] ..BlogLovin’
I’m pretty sure I’m allergic to “skinny”. Every time it gets close to me, I have to run and get a Twinkie to keep it from sticking around. Now I hear the company that makes Twinkies might be declaring bankruptcy. What on earth will I do? Will “skinny” finally catch up with me for good?
I have a child in the house that has an allergy. Besides the epi pen she has to take benadryl to combat the random ear, lip or eye swelling. One thing does keep it under control….. routine antihistamine treatment. If she takes allegra regularly she seems to not have any swelling episodes… but you know how teenagers are… she often has to be reminded to take her meds the hard way.
I would love that camera… could take a photo of her cauliflower ear and send it to you next time!
I usually weigh in the factor that during an, well lets just call it an episode of hypercondriacness (that is a word, right?) do I want to call 911 and go to our terrible county ER, where I most surely WILL die as they will kill me….or do I want to just stay home in my comfy bed and die here. I will opt for dying at home, but then amazingly I DON”T die!!!!
I *almost* always die from a brain tumor or hemorrhage.
I am allergic to doing dishes…….you see, I live in a VERY old house, with no “automatic” dishwasher. So, I am THE dishwasher! I hate it! I have been known to throw certain dishes away, rather than wash them because they are so nasty…..because I let them sit unwashed…..because did I mention how much I hate dish washing? I would rather shove a pill down my pit bulls throat! Although, she would wonder why I was doing it since she suffers from no known ailments! Or, I would rather clip someone’s toenails-and if you knew my aversion to other peoples feet (I hate them almost as much as dish washing!), you would think me a saint!
So this totally cool camera would give me a great diversion from doing the one thing I hate the most, which is, D-I-S-H-W-A-S-H-I-N-G
Glad you aren’t swollen anymore!
Rhonda Tew´s last [type] ..Your worth……..
I had my first allergic reaction ever a couple of years ago. I got all red and swollen and my face went numb. I was delivered to the emergency room, where they took one look at me and got me into a bed (no waiting! I’m pretty sure I was almost dead. I don’t actually remember the whole thing) where they hooked me up to an IV full of steroids and (I think) Benadryl. Then they gave me an Epipen and sent me home. So, long story short: I stay alive with an Epipen. And avoiding penicillin. I should probably get my Epipen renewed actually…
Also, I have pictures of that day labeled “if you look like this, GET TO THE HOSPITAL!” I’m sure that will help.
Jessica´s last [type] ..Modern Art.
I’m allergic to most alcohol. All red wine, tequila, rum. I get red and itchy hives all over my neck. Awesome, eh? Pffffft. I’m glad you’re okay now!!
Damn! Those are some serious hives! I stay away from penicillin, to which I am very allergic and also Xanax, which is kind of a tragedy. I learned that the hard way when I took it for a flight and ended up with hives at 30,000 feet.
Momo Fali´s last [type] ..Wasabi Gumball Review
I may or may not have had one too many cocktails at something called “The Mullet Toss” at the FloraBama on the Gulf Coast. Whilst trying to walk into the ocean along with some might fine guys we met that day, I got hit by a not-so-large wave that made me lose my balance. In trying to stay “with it” and super cute, and w/o spilling said cocktail, I tried to stay upright, but failed. Miserably. And instead of just falling, I got knocked down again by more waves… all while keeping my drink above water, mind you. I swallowed so much ocean water, I about hurled and had to forgo the hot guys and get my somewhat intoxicated ass back to the beach before my obituary read “Drown at the Mullet Toss” which could have been the most embarrassing way to die.
The only thing I have found in allergic to is some secret ingredient that Aveda puts in their Hand Therapy lotion. It is the most amazing lotion ever, but it makes my arms and hands break out into ugly red bumps.
Funny story- my boss installed a new firewall and it won’t let me go to your website anymore. It says the reason is your website is labeled pornography. The first time that popped up I couldn’t stop laughing.
It’s a good thing I don’t have any known allergies, or I’d surely be dead by now. Keeping necessary medications readily available is one of my faults.
Maybe I should teach Anna how to drive to CVS for if and when I go into some kind of allergic reaction. 7 is old enough to operate a mini van, yes?
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s last [type] ..A Case Of The Mondays: Official Science
I just drink a lot of alcohol to keep my body cleansed. That should keep me alive longer, right?
i am really, REALLY good about looking both ways before i cross the street.
also, i keep (probably expired) benedryl around the house.
hope you are feeling better. thanks for the giveaway!
hello haha narf´s last [type] ..Life Changing
I keep my self on my death bed with two 24hr allergy pills every day.
Otherwise I would be jumping off the nearest cliff.
I (thankfully) don’t have any important allergies, save for apparently the mountain cedar that is wreaking havoc on Fort Worth’s sinuses right now. I typically am able to stay out of harm’s way by mentally willing safety to happen. You know, staying up late during a storm to use my mental powers to keep a tornado from hitting the neighborhood…that sort of thing. It’s quite exhausting, actually.
I’m diabetic. And allergic to the world, or so it seems at times. I no longer carry an Epi-Pen but did for about a decade. I know have glucose tabs, juice boxes and Benedryl on me at all times.
A couple of years ago I went on a five or six hour yard work binge, then came in to relax it off with a hot tub full of bath oil and a glass of wine. The bath oil did a really super job of spreading the poison oak I’d picked up all over every inch of my body, including my face, and I had to go on a high dose of prednisone for like a billion weeks. Prednisone makes me talk and eat nonstop, so in addition to the allergic reaction I gained 10 pounds and made everyone in my house homicidal.
Therefore, to not die, I will never do yard work again.
Julie´s last [type] ..What’s The District’s Policy On Keith Moon Types?
My 7 year old is allergic to walnuts so these posts always freak me out. Thanks for that. I have no food allergies but am lactose intolerant. So I shouldn’t eat chocolate. But I do. It’s chocolate! I just follow it up with large amounts of tums and it actually keeps my husband away for the next few days. Fair trade for chocolate, don’t you think?
I don’t run with scissors and I always wear my seatbelt; boring I know but I don’t have any cool allergies yet that I know of-tough recently I have become to suspect a tequila allergy…
So glad that you’re okay! I’m lucky enough to not have any allergies. I make sure to wear my seat belt when getting in any vehicle and I always look both ways before crossing streets. I also try to avoid the dangerous, yet fun activities, such as bungee jumping, mostly, because I’m afraid of heights and fear a heart attack just for attempting it.
When I was little I had a reaction to Amoxicillin and my whole body puffed up and I had trouble breathing…so the doctors told my parents never to let me have any drugs in the ‘cillin’ family (Penicillin, Amoxicillin, etc.) because the next time I had a reaction it would probably be a lot worse and whatever. Which was great for my chronic ear infections since my body then became basically resistant to the alternative Azithromycin and I wanted to chop my ears off from ages four until ten when I finally had tubes put in.
So now anytime I’m at a doctors office/ER/any sort of medical places I start mumbling and/or yelling that I CAN’T HAVE CILLINS! DON’T GIVE ME THE CILLINS!
Which is perfectly logical and sane and no one every looks at you weird.
People keep telling me I should get some sort of a bracelet but I’m really more of a necklace person. Plus, I haven’t had cillins in over twenty years…my method of saving myself seems to be working. Why fix what isn’t broke…right?
Erin´s last [type] ..Behaviour modification. Now for inanimate objects too!
I’m allergic to food … every day I eat, I blow up like a balloon!
Wait … maybe I’m just fat.
Pfft! Whatever!
I too suffer from asthma and also have fibromyalgia… Any who, I find the best method to avoid dying by either of these causes is to move as little as possible once I am home and on the couch. To meet my daily requirements of food and beverage, I simpy make the 5 year old ‘uuuuuh uuuuh!!!’ sound whilst pointing to the object that I desire. I find that if I do this long enough my husband will, either out of concern or anger, bring me the object. If all else fails, I can always withhold sex.
I’m not “technically” allergic to anything except some weird old drug that they don’t even prescribe anymore. But I do have a list of things that I tell people I am allegic to, in order to avoid having to do much of anything. This list includes dish soap, swiffer refills, and Wal-Mart.
I avoid the elevator in my work building…in the year I have worked in this building, it has broken down no less than 50 times. And multiple people have gotten stuck in it. This is how i avoid dying…because I’m convinced one day, it’s just going to plummet to the bottom! Though I’m not sure if 4 floors would kill me…but I still avoid it
I almost died in Mexico – and not in a fun way. On our HONEYMOON, I ate something at dinner (possibly Sea Bass or black pasta, but it was Mexico, so no telling what it could be). On the way back the room, my hands started itching, then my arms – my new husband said my lips were starting to swell and it was just getting worse!! I took the benedryl that we had while my husband called the doctor at the resort. He refused to come unless we had some certain amount to pay him with (dollars or pesos, I can’t remember which). My husband assured him he would go to the ATM righ then and be back with the money. It was apparent I was not getting treatment unless this doctor got paid.
Long story short (!), the Mexican doctor came and gave me a shot in my ass AFTER getting paid. That night was horrible, the ride to the airport the next morning (1 1/2 hours) was excruiciating and now I never go to Mexico without an epi-pen!!
I’m allergic to cats. I try to avoid them as much as possible. My parents have two cats, do you think they are trying to tell me something?
I find that breathing is usually the best way to keep from dying. That may be just me though.
Michelle´s last [type] ..I didn’t want to be -that blog-.
I used to have a terrible rash that was a reaction to something that no amount of Doctors could figure out. It would flare up for weeks and then disappear. It lasted several years. Luckily I was bitten by a rattlesnake and received 10 vials of anti venom and the rash has never returned. No one seems to know if it was hte snake bite or the anti venom, but it has been gone for years.
I am terrified of choking to death. Mainly because I have acid reflux and sometimes food gets stuck in my throat and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get it down before I suffocate. It happens a lot with bread, which is my favorite carb ever. Oh the irony.
I am convinced that i am going to die from some hideous infection I’m going to get at a nail salon. Basically every time I get a pedicure I leave with some nasty cut – either my skin is extremely thin or I just always pick the wrong salon! So then I get home and basically soak my feet in rubbing alcohol and curse a lot and vow to never go back. Glad you are feeling better!
I try and convince my husband and boss that I am allergic to work…I tell them both that it messes with my mind and hinders it from focusing on the more important things in life…like what new restaurant we should try, or researching what stores have the best sell on wine…so far…I am still at work and folding laundry at home…clearly I am still working on it.
Gah! You poor thing! That looks awful!
I used to be allergic to shellfish, and then I turned out to be one of those folks who grows out of it, which is great. I couldn’t imagine a world without shellfish now. Nom, nom nom…
I’m allergic to coconut, but I love it, especially coconut cake that is 5 layers tall.
When the roof of my mouth starts itching, I just scratch it with the tines of an inverted fork, which sometimes gags me.
But coconut cake is worth it.
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