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Earlier this week I was scrolling through my new favorite site, Pinterest, when I came across this photo.

And I was all…what a cool thing to make with the kids! Plus, IT’S JELLO! Seriously who doesn’t love Jello. I mean never mind that personally, Jello reminds me of hospitals and liquid diets, but that’s a story for another time. This is about how you can CELEBRATE (how the kids are home from school for the the next two months and it’s only been a week and you already want to kill yourself because you didn’t get the memo about how you’re the one who’s in charge of entertaining them and you really just want to be left alone, please for the love of all that is good and mighty) SUMMER!

The picture didn’t explain how to make these cool orange-Jello slices, but I’m no dummy. I pretty much assumed we’d need oranges and Jello gelatin mix. I wrote those two items down on a piece of paper to take with me to the store. So I wouldn’t forget anything. Because forty-one year old brain is NOT the same thing as thirty year old brain, trust me. Do not believe the lies. I could have very easily come home with a tube of KY jelly and a spatula.

Which ironically, I actually need.

The spatula, people. Come on.

As I was standing in front of the oodles of boxes of different flavored Jellos, a memory flashed in my mind. It was junior high school, at a track meet. Dedrea’s mom made these cool gelatin blocks that she passed around to all of us to enjoy while we waited for our different events. It was Jello you could eat with your hands! I was mystified. My mom hadn’t made those before. How was it possible that Jello came in squares?! So I asked. And that’s when I first heard about Knox gelatin packets. Turns out, if you add a package of Knox to your Jello mix, it makes it stiffer, that’s what she said. So you can cut the Jello into nice little cubes and VOILA! Jello squares!

I grabbed a box of Knox along with three different flavors of Jello. And then I went to check-out. Completely forgetting the oranges. I wish I was making this up.

Eventually I would remember the oranges. Right after Harley looked in the grocery bag and asked, “Where are the oranges?”

Crap!

So finally, after a second trip to the store, we were ready to create Jello orange slices. Or orange Jello slices. Whatever. Let’s just do this already.

I sliced the oranges in half and scooped out the insides.

I then mixed three different flavors of Jello, adding a package of Knox gelatin to each one. I filled the orange halves and put them in the refrigerator.

After a few hours, the Jello had set.

They were ready to slice and eat!

OK, so maybe they aren’t as pretty as the ones from the picture at the top, but they were a huge hit with one little person in particular.

He ate ten of them. TEN.

Which explains the next part of the story.

Hours later, Ethan came running into the kitchen and yelled, “Mom, come quick! You gotta see this!”

I followed the little man up the stairs, down the hallway, and…into the bathroom?

There, he stood over the toilet and pointed inside. “Look at my poop! It’s GREEN!”

I don’t know what possessed me to do it, but I joined him in gazing at the prettiest shade of green poop you’ve ever seen. It was so bright it almost glowed. We were…transfixed…entranced…whatever the word.

And then I thought…you know, this is exactly the color I want to paint the laundry room. Could I possibly?….

The next image in my head was the one where I’m standing at the paint counter at Home Depot with a photo of Ethan’s green poop. And I ask the guy, “Can you match that?”

Before my mind had too much time to decide whether or not I could actually go through with that plan, Harley came in the bathroom and found me and Ethan staring into the toilet at his giant-sized green glowing poop.

“Ew, gross! What are you doing? That’s disgusting!”

And she lunged for the lever and flushed the toilet. Bye bye laundry room wall color.

It was probably for the best, anyway. I’m pretty sure the people at Home Depot wouldn’t see the value in being shown a picture of a five year old boy’s poop.

The moral of the story is…It’s probably not a good idea to let your kids eat too much food colored Jello.

Related: Jello should totally hire me to do their marketing. I mean imagine the possibilities. Seriously.