We have a new member of the family.
And he’s black.
Now sixty years ago adding a black family member might have made front page news or caused some sort of front yard riot, but this is the Two Thousands people. And we’ve come a long, LONG way. (thank god)
Like I’ve said a million and a half times, you don’t get to pick the color of your skin or the orientation of your sex. Or something like that. And well, you *certainly* don’t get to choose whether or not you’re a CAT. Because who on this great big giant world would choose THAT.
I don't know how I got here and I'm not sure you know this, but this blonde lady they've got me living with is cray-cray
Officially, this kitten was given to my 15 year old for Christmas. From her boyfriend. Whom I pretty sure is trying to tell her “I wanna score points with you, but I want your mom to hate me.”
When he first asked me if he could get her a kitten I was like, “ooh, I loooooove kittens. They’re so cute and cuddly and spirited and OH, YES. A kitten would be nice.”
OK, I don’t who that person was who agreed to add yet another animal to the zoo we already provide food and shelter to, but OH MY GOD WE HAVE A KITTEN.
Do not for ONE second let his sweet little face fool you. No. Don’t do it. And if one person says, “aawwww, but he’s so cute” you’re coming to pick him up. Or better yet, I’ll mail him to you. Perhaps inside a Jell-O mold–because that’s the only thing that might contain him. Well, that or duct tape.
Anyway, when Kitten arrived my 15 year old asked the younger kids to help name him. Some interesting choices were Sparkles, Floppy, and Cake.
Then there was Tiger (the name of our male cat), Sadie (the name of our female cat), Buddy (the dog), Leona (the other dog), and Lizzy (the lizard).
My first observation was this: My kids are not very imaginative and therefore cannot think of names for pets other than the names of pets WE ALREADY HAVE.
Then my five year old shouted, “I know! Let’s call him Blackie!”
Harley, who’s eight, yelled back, “You can’t name a kitten Blackie! That’s too obvious. See? He’s BLACK.”
And I thought, but naming him CAKE *is* a good option?
My 15 year old quickly became frustrated by the little kids nonsense (You should try being ME) and left the room with the still unnamed kitten in tow. From the other room I heard her scream. “Owwww. Hey Mom! The cat keeps clawing meeeeeee. What do I do?”
So naturally she settled for the name “Bear.”
Don’t worry, I don’t see the connection either, I just need to move this story along.
So.
We have a kitten.
It’s been a long time since the older cats were kittens. Like 12 years.
And so far not one of the other pets has tried to kill baby kitten. Which I find surprising and also, well…kinda boring. I thought for sure I’d have had to unhitch someone’s jaw to remove him by now. But not so much.
Ooh. He has however…
Fallen in the toilet. Twice.
Climbed the Christmas tree. A gazillion times.
Knocked OVER the Christmas tree. But only because he got a running start.
Scratched the faces of most of the family members. Which looked GREAT in the photos on Christmas Day.
Broken the glass in three picture frames. That I know of.
And terrorized Leona, the Collie. Because she only outweighs him by 50 pounds.
What’s more, I’ve been left to babysit. You see, it’s Christmas Break, MOM. I want to go hang out with my friends and spend the night at Anabelle’s because everyone is going over there and her mom said I could stay over so you can just watch Bear right?
Yes. Bear and I will be just fine. I mean, I haven’t seen him since he ran across my laptop thirty seconds ago and then stopped, came back, kitten slapped me in the face, and then took off running.
Great. And now I just heard something hit the ground. And the sound of glass breaking.
I mean, I don’t know about you but I’m having the time of my LIFE.
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Make no mistake, mom. Your daughter’s boyfriend may have given the kitten to her…but it’s definitely your cat. Congratulations!
[WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ’0 which is not a hashcash value.
That’s exactly why I don’t have cats. Well, that and i’m allergic. I’m telling you though, they’re evil. Okay, not all of them are evil, but some of them are and yours clearly is the reincarnation of some horrible woman from the 1400′s whose husband used to beat her and now she is looking for revenge. Revenge!
Good luck with that.
Aw, it’s like your own personal version of 16 and pregnant!
Congratulations on becoming a Grandma, Shauna! xo
Black shorthaired cats are EVIL that are bent on destruction. Seriously. I had 2 brothers that I got when my sweet boy’s sweet brother died. My sweet boy hated my guts until I finally had to give them back to the shelter. They broke EVERYTHING! And they were NOT nice.
This post clarifies every single reason I adopted a year-old cat.
My cat is 6 years old.
He is as big as a bear cub (swear).
He still kitten slaps me.
Although, its more like he cat slaps me then cocks his head at me like “aren’t I still so cute?” and then I people slap him back.
What? Is that wrong?
*only joking, I don’t do the whole animal cruelty. [unless he sleeps on my face when I'm sleeping, then I can't be held accountable for my actions]
That is my cat’s twin!
In looks and evilness.
Strangely enough my daughter named ours Louie, I’ve yet to figure out where a 2 year old came up with the name Louie when she’s never heard it before.
Virginia´s last [type] ..Merry Early Christmas!
Nothing that can’t be solved with cat food and a wood chipper
Kenny´s last [type] ..We drank a toast to Innocence
we got our kitten last month. he’s 5 month’s old, and is freaken crazy! his name’s Winston..but his nickname is NINJA.
you can discipline though, spray bottle with water works wonders. trust me
my hubster is deathly allergic to cats – like have an epy pen around allergic. i don’t care for them either. on the name front – we do have 2 dogs: pancakes and waffles
We have a neighbor who allowed her 3 year old to name the black kitten “Black Dude”. This is an especially good name when out shopping and she innocently asks if she can get that toy or this thing for “Black Dude” in a voice that anyone can hear.
I have a cat that looks exactly like him. Black fur, crazy eyes, and all. I got him slightly before Christmas. I can relate to everything you say! Mine likes to climb the Christmas tree, crawl in the bathtub when someone is through and it is wet, stab anyone and everyone with his claws (I have just barely healed from most all of my scratches. The first month I had him my hands, arms, and legs were covered with scratches that everyone had to ask me about), obliterate my dried flowers and leave remnants all over the floor, scale my shelves in my closet, claw my carpet (even though he has a scratching thing), climb on my bed stand and dresser (even if there is no room. He will knock everything off anyway when he wants back down and decides running through everything in front of him is a good idea), play in is cat box, and cause other general chaos.
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