So this last week I moved.
And just so you know I hate moving as much as my colon hates extricating.
Yes, it’s that serious.
Anyway, the move happened…yada yada yada… the movers lost the legs to my sofa.
How exactly does that happen?
If I knew the answer to that I wouldn’t have to kill my next door neighbor’s dog.
Oh. Right.
I’m mixing stories here.
And normally I would be able to keep my stories straight except in this instance I’m going on five hours sleep in four days. And the worst part is every word I type I feel like I’m spelling wrong.
Or B. I’m under a tremendous amount of stress.
Not to throw yet another wrench in this long-winded story which appears to have NO POINT whatsoever, I threw Ethan a birthday party yesterday. It wasn’t his birthday. His birthday was ten days ago but he didn’t know the difference. He’s FIVE. Or so he thinks. Hell. He could be twelve for all I know. Be he “seems” like a five year old so we’re going with that. Like I told you before, I’m terrible at math.
Anyway.
His big thing this year was that he wanted a Star Wars Clone Wars Lego birthday cake. After emerging from my “What The Fuck Does That Even Mean” coma, I called Target and asked if there was such a thing. Lucky for me Ysela answered the phone and I spent the next twelve and a half minutes explaining the Star Wars saga to her. Which is weird because the last movie in the “saga” I saw was Return of the Jedi when I was 13. And I only saw it then because my dad promised that if I went to see the movie with him and my little brothers he’d stop acting like a homosexual in the grocery store. Don’t get me wrong, I love the gays as much as anybody, but it’s hard enough being a teenager without having to watch your dad recreate the musical, South Pacific, in the middle of Kroger–and sucking at it.
By the way, he lied.
And for the record, Target doesn’t carry Star Wars Clone Wars Lego birthday cake shit.
So I ordered Ethan a Scooby Doo cake instead. Because every person (including non English speaking Target bakery workers) know who the fuck Scooby Doo is.
He didn’t even notice.
Long story short, I found the missing legs to the sofa in my underwear drawer.
Don’t ask.
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Umm, those aren’t sofa legs.
Avitable´s last [type] ..On cunnilingus among other things
My Aunt had 8 children. I would often overhear her and my mom talking on the phone regarding one of my cousin’s birthdays. I remember being appalled that she didn’t tell the younger ones the exact date and often celebrated later in the month when she got to it.
30 years later I’ve had 6 children myself. For as long as I could get away with it the younger ones were oblivious to when their actual birthday was.
As far as I’m concerned ANY themed whoop-t-do on any given day during your birthday month makes you a very lucky birthday boy (or girl).
You’re a gold star mom in my book.
I could be wrong, but you sound a little stressed. Maybe you need some wine. Tee hee.
You’ll start loving your new place in no time. Just try not to lock yourself out when you forget the new alarm codes…LOL.
Bellawriter´s last [type] ..Check “yes” for adventures
The clone wars is a recent creation. It’s a cartoon and not part of the saga as you know it. Hoping that knowledge makes you feel a little less crazy about not knowing what that was.
Hockeymandad´s last [type] ..Home
I love you forever and ever, AMEN.
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s last [type] ..I’m not ashamed to say- “Yes- my Sorrelli jewelry is gorgeous- and so am I”
In my book, I would declare that a win.
Becky Mochaface´s last [type] ..I hope theres some sort of treatment plan
Who is this Scoobie Doo you speak of?
I would like to celebrate MY birthday as to how I feel/seem than my real age. I think I will celebrate 25 this coming January.
Kerrie´s last [type] ..Wonderfully Ugly
The movers found our oak paper towel holder in a large suitcase in our garden shed. Not the movers who put it there….the ones moving us 7 years later. Paper towel holder in suitcase….Suitcase in garden shed…makes sense in a ..wait, no it fucking doesn’t !!!!..and Yes, I CAN wait to move again! (p.s. yes, this was a corporate move…those guys are helpful for getting out of your old home in record time but probably have some bet or drinking game in the crew where the guy who puts the weirdest stuff in the hardest to find place wins….I mean, wouldn’t you, with that job?!?!)
(p.p.s. I replaced the oak paper towel holder with an uber-cool one when i couldn’t find it that is much better and user friendly and I packed it this time myself so F-Off mover dudes!)
Again, laughing hysterically here. I’ll bet you are an awesome mom – I don’t care what you say
Jennifer-Eighty MPH Mom´s last [type] ..Step into Summer- Prodyne Fruit Infusion Pitcher Review