Holy Schick!

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It’s no secret that I’m not one of those people who regularly shaves things. Because dammit, I’m busy.

I *try* to remember to keep my armpits hairless but I don’t always think about it. Because really? Who goes around thinking about armpits? Me? Not so much. Most of the time my 15 year old daughter is the one who points it out that I may want to introduce my underarms to a razor in the manner of ‘OH MY GOD, MOM, YOU NEED TO SHAVE YOUR ARMPITS, GROSS!’

So then, I shave. Usually.

My legs are a different story. I know it’s summer and everything but I honestly can’t be bothered to take the time to go over that area with a razor. That’s why god gave me blonde leg hair. Because he knew I would be like this.

Then.

I discovered something different. I found a razor I actually *like* using and it’s like I’m a different person. Stop laughing. Seriously. It’s not funny.

It’s the Schick Intuition Plus razor and not only is it useful, it’s also pretty. (I have no idea what that has to do with anything but I figure if you’re on the fence on whether to try it or not, the fact that it’s pink will be the selling point)

Anyway, since I got this razor I can’t shave enough things. Also, there may be something wrong with me.

But I’m finding out there IS a wrong time to shave.

Like this past week I needed a pedicure. So I grabbed my new razor, carefully placed it in a ziplock baggie and threw it in my purse. At the nail salon I pulled it out and asked the sweet little Vietnamese girl if she’d mind shaving my legs while she pampered my feet. You know, kill two birds with one stone, yes? Anyway, there must have been some kind of language barrier because she shook her head NO and handed the razor back to me.

So next on my list of things to do? Learn Vietnamese.

Over the next few days I tried incorporating shaving into my daily routine.

The following things failed.

1. Shaving while jogging.

2. Shaving while driving.

3. Shaving while having lunch at the fancy shmancy restaurant at Neiman’s.

4. Shaving while giving a speech about alternative parenting to a group of uptight moms. Also, I’m pretty sure I won’t be asked back.

So what did I learn about my new obsession with the Schick Intuition Plus razor? You can love your razor, you just can’t *love* your razor.

Or take it with you to lunch.

I just don’t know what you people want from me. I don’t shave? I get shit. I shave like a mo-fo? More shit.

Question: How long does it take for the hair on your arms to grow back?

*Disclaimer: Schick has been awesome enough to ask me to host a party at Blogher tonight. Too bad you’re all not in New York City. Sucks to be you. Did I mention Gavin Degraw will be there?