How well do you *really* know someone?
I mean I have one friend who’s been my friend for over twenty YEARS and I just learned something new about her. That she’s left-handed. And the way I found out was I watched her scribble a phone number on a piece of paper.
“Did you write that with your left hand?”
“Uh-huh.”
“But why?”
“Because I’m left handed.”
“SHUT. UP. REALLLLLLY?”
“Yes. Really.”
“When did THIS happen?”
“When I was five.”
“Why have I never known this about you?”
“Because that would imply you showing an interest in someone other than yourself.”
“Oh. Well that makes sense.”
Side note: It takes a really really good friend to be able to deliver that kind of truthful insight without it being taken the wrong way.
Side note number 2: I’m really going to miss my (ex) friend.
Anyway, in light of this recent development I thought I would share some things with you that you may not know about me.
1. I snore (Apparently. I mean I don’t know this with 100% certainty because it happens when I’m unconscious. But I’ve confirmed it with 3 people. Two of them are under 5 feet tall and known to lie when backed into a corner, but I offered up Skittles for the truth. And according to them I do in fact, snore)
2. I love every green vegetable on the planet. Period end of story. (Except okra. Okra tastes like slimy worms. This is not an opinion. It’s a fact. Okra=Worms=Bleck)
3. I’m highly allergic to melon. All of them. Watermelon. Honeydew. Cantaloupe. Can’t eat them. Ever.
4. I can remember every person’s birthday I ever went to school with. I can also remember random numbers like how much I spent at the grocery store last Tuesday. $126.78 (If you’re thinking this is some sort of gift, it’s not. I would prefer my brain fill itself with knowledge about shit that actually matters. But no one asked me what I wanted. So I got this.)
5. I STILL can’t poop in public. And I desperately need to. Like right now. My stomach is churning and all hurty inside and all I want to do is go to the bathroom. But I can’t. Also, if it’s possible to die from lack of pooping I will surely die that way. I can just see the writing on the tombstone now. “Here lies Shauna Glenn. She spewed a lot of shit off the top~Not so much from the bottom.”
6. I can eat chips and salsa any time day or night. It doesn’t matter if it’s 7 am or 7 pm. Chips and salsa equals love.
7. I can’t leave a room with making sure all cabinets are shut and all drawers are closed. What I don’t do is lick the light switch on my way out. Anymore.
8. I don’t really like ice cream. I mean it’s never something I crave or would go out of my way to eat. Unless there was a flavor called Chips and Salsa. And by that I mean if it wasn’t Chips and Salsa flavored ice cream at all but instead just Chips and Salsa. (refer to number 6)
9. When I have a nightmare it always involves snakes.
10. I can’t think of a tenth thing because all I can think about is eating chips and salsa.
What are some things about YOU that we don’t know? Please. Humor us.
PS. How bout we make this a little friendly contest. Most bizarre revelation wins a $50 gift card to Target. Contest ends Friday, July 30.
PPS. And by bizarre I don’t mean sharing your love of animal porn. That’s just wrong. You can love animals. Just not *love* them.
PPPS. Great. Now all I can think about is animal porn.
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Whenever I’m looking down from a high (or even semi-high) place), like a bridge, balcony, etc., I have the urge to throw something over. And not just anything. My urge is to throw something very expensive, like my sunglasses or camera (luckily never my children.)
I cannot stand the sound of balloons. The stretching and twisting of a balloon animal being made is enough to make me want to murder a clown. Imagine how much fun my kids had at carnivals. Also, I can remember random numbers like my Granny’s home phone number from when I was 5….but never an appointment date. (unless it deals with food)
Veronica´s last [type] ..Oh Katy Perry
I once had a nearly uncontrollable urge to drink nail polish remover. It was sitting on the lamp stand right next to me. I restrained myself, but GOSH…..that was odd!
i have a mole. you know … down there (wait, why am i being discreet on THIS blog??).
–starting over–
i have a mole near my vagina. and i have a family history of melanoma. so not only do i have to live in fear of developing skin cancer, i also have to have my mole (and others) checked by TWO different doctors … and the dermatologist has to check it TWICE a year.
oh – and i’m kind of obsessed with making sure my moles isn’t changing (you know, the whole skin cancer thing) so since i can’t check THIS mole, i may or may not make my husband do the deed.
# 6. I have been known to eat an entire bag of tortilla chips (with MY homemade salsa – thank you VERY much) in one sitting. And no – I don’t share. You might lose a hand if you even ask.
Oh, and maybe not such a weird thing about me but whatever – I don’t let anyone touch my feet. Not even my husband. Not because they’re ticklish, its just weird to me.
Never got a pedi – except for the one time in “Beauty School” where it was a requirement for us to do them on each other to pass “Pedi Class”. I was so grossed out I had to run to the bathroom in the middle of it to vomit.
Speaking of Ralph – the smell alone makes me do it too – I have 3 kids, and do you think the hubby would help me in the department of “clean up when they got sick all over the hallway floor and in the radiator on the way to the bathroom”? Hell no!
I think it’s amusing how ~few~ posts there are to this one
)
I don’t have ~crazy~ freakish things…I read comics everyday though I am 40, I love pinot grigio more than any dessert…I HATE pedicures. They effing hurt, though I know I need to have them since freakazoids think I am gross if I don’t. And I can’t throw away the remnants of a chips bag. I mix ‘em with a bunch of salsa and have me some ~salsa soup~ aw yea….
see boring and normal.
All of you are weird, and Shauna it’s all about you. Ha!
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