When I was a little girl, I thought babies came out your belly button. I didn’t exactly *know* how this was possible since your belly button is like, well, the size of a belly button. But I didn’t question it. It was just a fact of life and not something you worried about. You just went to the hospital when it was time to give birth, the doctor put you to sleep, and yada, yada, yada, you had a baby. AND, you knew what kind of baby it was by the color of blanket it came wrapped in. Yes, I thought babies came with either a pink or a blue blanket. Out your belly button.
And this was when I was thirteen.
You should’ve seen my reaction the day my friend Amy was at my house. We were in my room, sitting criss cross on my bed where she proceeded to tell me the whole sordid story. The REAL story. It terrified me beyond all comprehension. I vowed right then and there that I would A) Never have sex; and B) Never have a baby. Yes, I am aware *now* that you have to do the first thing to get the second thing, but like I said…Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
And really Amy? You just *HAD* to go and ruin it for me, didn’t you. I was *fine* living in my state of absolute and utter denial–thinking that babies came from swallowing watermelon seeds. I wasted SO many summer days making sure all the seeds were removed from my brother’s slice of watermelon–because I felt like he was too immature and irresponsible to care for a baby. And then only to learn the truth. Well, I hope you’re happy.
You told me the truth about sex and about giving birth. And I’ve never fully recovered. Thanks for THAT.
Lucky for me, my kids won’t have to wonder about where babies come from. In fact, they can eat all the watermelon seeds they want without worrying about growing a baby in their stomach. Because now, we have these…
I’m pretty sure that if I showed these dolls to my kids they’d never have sex. That’s why I’ve ordered all of them.