Something has gone terribly wrong.
I’m stressed out.
I’m stress eating.
I’ve GAINED TEN POUNDS.
I’m not telling you this so you’ll say, “Shauna, you’re not fat!”
Dude, I’m telling you I’M FAT.
I *wish* I was making this up.
Seriously. I wish I could come on here and tell you that I am Dead Sexy. I mean nothing would make me happier than to brag about how fine my ass looks in a pair of jeans. Instead I’m here asking if any of you are missing a couple of pig twins. Cuz I found them. They’ve permanently attached themselves to MY ASS. And they seem to really, really like me. Sadly, instead of getting rid of them I just want to make them into BACON.
Mmmm. Bacon.
This stress eating thing is killing me. I can’t seem to stop! Why can’t I be like those annoying people who LOSE their appetite when they’re stressed–instead of Hi, I’d like a Double Cheeseburger, Onion Rings AND Fries.
I’m a complete failure.
I would say I need an intervention but when I think INTERVENTION, I hear PARTY WITH AN AGENDA, and the word PARTY means food and CAKE. And if you brought CAKE to my INTERVENTION I would have to eat it because that would be just RUDE if I didn’t. Thus negating the reason for the fucking intervention in the first place.
(See how my mind works?)
Anyway, I’m trying to diet. I have no choice. I mean even my four year old thinks I’m a fat ass. It’s weird, no one has seem him since he made the “maybe because your butt has gotten so big” remark. I wish him well. Wherever he may be *cough* in the trunk *cough*
Speaking of failing at life in general, go to Aiming Low and watch my VIDEO. It’s the first annual Back Burner Recipe Contest. Vote for your favorite recipe. Never mind the fact that my kids stole my limelight. Fucking kids.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Yeah my appetite doesn’t go away with stress either. And I really wish it would. I try to kick it out, but it just keeps coming back the damn squatter that it is.
That’s ok, this weekend I had the joy of having to walk all the way across Costco carrying a case of weight loss shakes. Everyone was staring at me. I just wanted to say, “Yea, I’m fat, but I guess I’m trying to do something about it.”
And of course you would have to eat the cake at an intervention. It’s just rude not to.
I’m one of those people who loses their appetite when I’m stressed (ducking).
What’s your least favorite kind of cake? That’s what I’ll bring to the intervention.
Try P90X – it is AMAZING for losing weight. And you work out so much that you have to eat, which is my favorite kind of diet
Good luck!
Hmmm, something happened to your site. I see a bunch of A’s in boxes. Hopefully it’s just me though…
I’m worse than a non-stress eater, I lose weight from stress and I never gain much either no matter what I eat. (ducks and runs)
Good luck with the diet though. I hope you can see the hotness in yourself all of us already do, no matter if you gain any weight.
hi! i’m delurking again! something that works for me is not eating after 7. you’re supposed to not have anything at least 3 hours before bed time so that your body goes into fat burning mode. it’s hard at first, especially if you like to have a drink or something at night, but it pays off in the long run! maybe you could just drink some raspberry ice crystal light and put it in a wine glass and pretend? lol
i feel a little silly telling you this anyway, ’cause from your pictures, you look great! but i can tell you’ve been a skinny minny all your life, which is probably why you feel all yucky about your weight, even though none of us probably notice
I just bought a treadmill so when I have company I can point at it and pretend like I use it. No, I really do plan on using it. For drying clothes and holding up my hanging plants…
I love to eat when I am stressed! Which as a single mom who has to work outside the home, is pretty much all the time! and you can’t have an intervention without cake. Prefect stress reliever!
I feel ya! Yesterday my little boy reached around my waist to hug me, then took a step back and said, “Mom could you please get a little skinnier?” Little punk!!!
OMG, girl I just watched the video. I about died when I heard you say, “Okay, we need one cup of each of these.” I meant one cup TOTAL! Oh well. If I lose, I’m blaming you.
I hear you on the stress eating. The one thing I found that stopped my stress eating was chewing ice. Now I have all kinds of dental issues and I need to get a ton of work done. I don’t stress eat so much any more. Mostly because my remaining teeth hurt like a mother.
Your line …’It’s weird, no one has seem him since he made the “maybe because your butt has gotten so big” remark’… has a typo.
I can’t believe it. And it’s not the kind that spell check would catch, because the misspelled word is in itself an actual word. (don’t you just hate that)
*SEEM* should have been *SEEN*. Sorry to point this out, especially when you need intervention. I’m sure that this will stress you even further considering how you don’t like spelling mistakes, or the name ROY.
Heh. Awesome. I came to visit because I just watched the AL videos, and yeah, your kids are all up ons! Cute, though. I was like, how does a 16yo not have a mirror? But then she kissed E and that was adorable. ;p
So, no cake, got it. Bran muffins? ;p
Screw the cake….you know what goes great with intervention? Wine.
Pretty sure you’re being hard on yourself BUT I have to say it was incredibly therapeutic to read someone else saying these things. It’s just nice to know other people feel this way, instead of how we’re all pretending like we think we’re perfect and NO WOMAN DOES so it makes me laugh and feel like it’s OK to be a little more honest. I enjoy that.
Shannalee´s last blog ..this is how I see it
sadly nothing makes my appetite go away…
I got Mono in high school and gained like 20 lbs that year…
Maile´s last blog ..My cat is so high right now!