I didn’t know I would grow up to be a writer. In fact, becoming a writer didn’t come up until I was well into my thirties. I mean, I always made awesome grades on my high school English papers–my teachers would comment that I had a unique way of telling a story. Still, it didn’t click with me that this is what I should do until years later.
My junior year in high school I took an anatomy/physiology class and really loved it. I became a total science nerd. I even went on a field trip to the medical examiner’s office where we watched an AUTOPSY.
While my classmates were gagging and shifting uncomfortably in their seats and even shielding their eyes, I was fascinated. I couldn’t get enough.
That was it.
I’d made a decision.
I was going to be a doctor.
Me.
A doctor.
Please stop laughing. Seriously… STOP LAUGHING!
So, my senior year I changed my entire schedule around this new career path.
I applied to Baylor University and it was decided. I was going to be a doctor. Never mind that I didn’t have a clue what that meant. But I sure did sound smart. My family thought I was a genius. (OK, I may have made up that last part)
What I also need to tell you (because now you’ll be all… Oh, I get it now) is that my boyfriend at the time may have had some influence on my new career choice. He was a year ahead of me and already at Baylor. HE was pre-med and had ALWAYS wanted to be a doctor.
So I *may* have thought, what the heck, I’ll be a doctor too.
All this is to say I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WANTED TO DO WITH MY LIFE. And I’m also pretty sure that if I’d been dating a bull rider during that time I would be writing that I had always aspired to be a professional bull rider.
Thank God for small miracles…and the fact that guys in Wranglers and cowboy boots don’t do it for me.
Anyhoo, let’s just say that after the first semester of my freshman year I realized that there was no way I could be a doctor. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG YOU HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL FOR THAT SHIT? And the math involved is insane. I mean, I had this professor I called The Smiling Assassin. She was Chinese or Japanese, I couldn’t tell, and she hadn’t been in the US for very long and so I couldn’t understand the words that were coming out of her mouth. Like ever. She would be talking and I would look around the room to see if anyone else was as confused as me. She’d scribble on the board while excitedly thrashing about and pointing here and there and….all of the sudden she’d turn and face us (all the while with a huge grin on her face) and say, “Ho-kay. You got it? Any quet-chons? Ho-kay! Moving on!”
And that was it. She’d move on. Except YES, I had questions. I had lots of questions–one of them being “WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING IN HERE?” Because it appeared that everyone else was following her except ME.
So I did what anybody in my situation would do and I switched my major to Corporate Fitness.
What’s Corporate Fitness you ask?
I have no idea but at the time it sounded very important.
Plus I was under the impression that I would get to work out a lot and get college credit for it.
Not so much.
That also was a science degree which required me to take ridiculous amounts of math. Math that I would never use during my lifetime but was somehow key to my success.
God I hated college. Well that’s not true. I hated going to classes. I LOVED hanging out and partying with my friends. Dude, I aced that part.
Anyway, long story short, I didn’t graduate from college. I meant to, I really did, but I seriously had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. So I just moved home during my junior year, got a job, and never looked back.
Oh yeah, and then yada, yada, yada, I became a writer.
By the way, My then boyfriend DID in fact become a doctor and I’m happy for him. I mean, had he followed MY career path he’d be spending most days at his keyboard, talking about his vagina on the Internet.
I think he made the right decision.
**Be sure to go over to Aiming Low today and read about my toilet issues. God I’m important.**
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!
Allison Zapata´s last blog ..I can’t think of a title.
I may or may not have applied to a certain school because of my high school boyfriend. Lucky for me (and to his astonishment and outrage), I dared to make the decision of where I would actually go based on me alone.
Becky Mochaface´s last blog ..Hump Day Humor: The Man Your Man Could Smell Like
OMG, can I hug you!? You totally made my day, because I too at 20 years old had NO clue what I wanted to do with the rest of my life and decided that wasting it going to classes that I didn’t really understand anyway wasn’t going to get me there in the first place!
I’m really sad, because I wanted to go to tech school and become a hairdresser, but my mom thought that wasn’t a good career goal. So, now I have NO degree and I never went back and got the license to do hair. I want to. One day maybe…
Christen´s last blog ..So Proud!
Three years of college here and no degree. However I was great at drinking, wearing short skirts and dancing on tables and all at the same time too!
I did get an MRS. though while attending. I stopped partying with the frat boys and found me a math/science geek. He seemed pretty happy to be getting a table top dancer!
Kim @ Beautiful Wreck´s last blog ..Going From 1998 Online Diarist to 2010 D-List Blogger
OKay, I had that SAME teacher (except mine was a man and he was from Puerto Rico, I think) and even though I was a Spanish major I never did have a clue what he was saying. He did that same periodic turn to the class with a very understandable, “DO JOO GEHT EEET???!” and then moved on to yet another algebraic equation that made my brain long for beer…. which I should have majored in. Because I could teach a class on that subject. Spanish, er, not so much.
Shannon´s last blog ..An Announcement
I have convinced myself, thanks to Bill Gates, Brian Williams (NBC), and Malcolm Gladwell (in theory), that college is not for all. I, too, have the career driven friends who are doctors, nurses, educators, etc.
How all those people knew exactly what to do, I don’t know. I sure didn’t.
However, I must cling on to the theory that everything happens for a reason.
Otherwise, the memory of my government teacher in high school saying once, “I sure wish one of you would look into becoming a mortician,” may come crashing down…
It took me seven years to get my undergraduate degree in Elementary Education. I changed my major 5 times so by the time I graduated I was endorsed in 6 areas. However, I didn’t realize until the end of the program, when I did my student teaching, that I don’t like kids (except my own, of course).
I may or may not be laughing my ass off…. I felt like I was reading about my own “college experience!”
You are so hilarious! I only went to a Jr. college. I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on school until I knew what I wanted to do. Good thing too, I didn’t even graduate that. So now I’m 36, married, a stay at home mom with 3 kids & that degree would have been a big waste of time. I mean, really, who needs a degree to change diapers?
You are funny! I followed you here from Aiming Low. The pooping in public, that was so funny!
I have two degrees, BA & MA. My parents wouldn’t hear of me not finishing college. My grandmother would roll over in her grave!
I hope to someday follow in your footsteps and write about my vagina.
Avitable´s last blog ..Shamurder
Well, I am glad that you didn’t become a doctor. I enjoy reading you here. But wait…I’ll bet if you HAD become a doctor your charts would have been hilarious for the nurses to read!
Jane´s last blog ..A Little Bit Of My Own WTH Wednesday
So glad you did not become a doctor….
Sadie at heyMamas
Sadie at heyMamas´s last blog ..Waaahhhhh
i did that. went to school for LAN Specialist. sounded important. well not really, anymore!