Not too long ago I came across a ball cap I couldn’t pass up. I mean, it practically screamed OH MY GOD YOU MUST WEAR ME ON YOUR HEAD!
So…I bought it. And put it on a shelf in my closet.
And because I’m a douchebaggy scatterbrain I forgot all about it.
THEN… I was packing for New York and reached up on the shelf for a scarf and BAM, it fell on me. So I thought for sure that was the universe telling me I should wear it on the plane.
And because I’ve learned that if you don’t listen when the universe tells you to do something you’ll get junk-punched, I totally wore the hat on the plane.
Wait til you see the back
See? Awesome.
I noticed the flight attendant kept looking at me when he would pass by but I didn’t think about it *too* much because DUH, I’m cute and all… and also I thought oh he must think I’m Britney Spears good God this is getting old I hope he doesn’t ask for my autograph.
He finally stopped and I was all ready to explain that No, I’m not Britney Spears OR HER MOM, when he asked this… “Do you know Ben?”
“Um… Ben?”
“Yes. Ben. From the Betty Ford Clinic. He works in the front office. He’s a friend of mine.”
“Ohhhhhh. You mean the hat! No, no, no. The hat is a joke.”
Mean face.
“Can I have a diet Coke?”
“You know, that’s not very funny.”
????
“Really? Because I think it’s hilarious. Um. Can I get that diet Coke?”
“We’re all out of diet Coke.”
Whatever. The hat is too funny.
{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
I think it’s hilarious! You should have asked for rum to go with the diet Coke. You really would have gotten a mean face then.
You should have said “Wait…Ben? Oh yes! I do remember him. Kind of an asshole, isn’t he?”
I need that hat!
Say “Being a flight attendant is funny.”
I’ll give you $100 for that hat.
I totally thought this post was going to be about the hat I wanted to buy you. I’m disappointed…but mostly in that humor-less flight attendant. I would have laughed my ass off.
wow. that is TOO too funny. i love the hat. i have a tshirt that says, “so when is the wizard going to get back to you about that brain?” those who get it, get it. those who give me that deer in the head light look….deserve it.
I’ll give you $105 for it — AND a diet coke. That shit is freaking hilarious.
Should have asked for an alcohol drink….too freakin funny.
Hat: $12 at http://bettyfordcliniconline.com/
He’s right, that’s not very funny – it’s fucking hilarious. Seriously though, what are the odds that your flight attendant knows someone at Betty Ford?
Oh, to H-E-double hockey sticks for you, girl! I’ll see you there… hahahahahahaaa!
Totally FAS
PMSL that is too funny!
I agree, you should have asked for an alcoholic drink!
HAHAHA Thanks for the laughs, I love your blog
You should have said, “OH BEN! He’s great!! I’ll tell him you said hi. Do you mind getting me a scotch on the rocks?” Of course he might have performed his own flight attendant intervention and put you in those little plastic handcuffs….
Too Funny!!
I’m with MJ! you could have played up the Ben connection to your favour!
i love the hat!! i want one!! i would die laughing if i saw someone wearing it. you should have gotten loaded on the flight just for shock value!!
A male flight attendant..I am sure he was talking about Ben Dover he works the in the back orifice at the clinic!
Dude, I’m obsessed with The Betty. I’ve been dying to vacay there for years. I need that hat. Not want, mind you, need. NEED.
Oh. My. God. That is hilarious! And you know, “works in front office” was totally code for “is a raging alcoholic and was forcibly sent to rehab”.
I think it’s hilarious! I want one!
That is awesome. I need to get one of those.
Must. Have. Hat. Please leave comment as to where most wonderful hat can be found. I manage a chain of liquor stores and this would be too great! Please share!
OK, as a former Flight Attendant I have to chime in here. I would have totally laughed my butt off!!!
By the way, I know I don’t “really” know you, but for some strange reason this etsy listing brought you to my mind tonight. Weird, huh?!
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=pounce&listing_id=39301198
wow, shannon, gross.
for the people who wanted to know where to get the hat, see above, or right here:
Hat: $12 at http://bettyfordcliniconline.com/
I have hat lust. And you have provided a link. I am bowing and now, but go and make an online purchase.
That is JUST WAY TOO FUNNY!
Someone told me just this weekend that if someone asks if you know Ben, they’re asking if you’re a member of AA. Supposedly Ben started AA.
You should wear that hat and then I’ll loan you the T-shirt I have that says on the front:
“RAPE IS NO LAUGHING MATTER”
and on the back
“UNLESS YOU’RE RAPING A CLOWN”
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