I’ve noticed that Tommy helps me out more and more with the children these days. I fully realized that this last week when he was gone from Monday to Thursday night. (Refer to this post where I was sure my life sucked)
Taking care of four kids requires more than one person. Trust me. Unless you’re specifically looking for a way to die young, do not attempt to do this alone.
But his helping me hasn’t always been this way. A few years ago when Ethan was much younger and still in diapers and still difficult to navigate around, the scene was much different.
Like this one time for instance.
It was a Saturday and I asked Tommy to watch the children so I could go on a quick shopping trip to buy a wedding present. The store I was going to is a quaint little place with lots of expensive, breakable things. It’s NOT a place you take small children. Unless you’d like to buy a bunch of shit your kids just broke.
I also know that it’s almost impossible to get cell phone reception there.
So I looked up the number of the shop, wrote it on a Post-It note and left it next to the phone. You know, in case of an emergency.
I said goodbye, and went about my merry way. I remember looking forward to having an hour to myself.
I parked in the lot of Cute Gift Shop and went inside. There were beautiful platters, canister sets, picture frames, candles…well, you get it.
I browsed through the many aisles, taking my time and really considering the couple I was buying for.
Just as I was deciding between a pasta bowl and a 10-piece pewter serving set, a woman in her mid 50′s approached me. I was ready to tell her I didn’t need assistance when she said, “Are you Shauna Glenn by chance?”
Stunned by this I took a step back and said, “Yes. Um, I’m Shauna Glenn.”
She seemed relieved. “Oh good.” And then she rested her hand on my shoulder. “There’s a man on the phone for you. He said he’s babysitting?”
Babysitting?
Who was she talking about? Tommy?
He referred to himself as the babysitter? Like, I’m babysitting therefore I am the babysitter?
I put the bowl down and followed her to the front counter.
She handed me the cordless phone and I put the receiver to my ear. “Hello?”
“Hey Shauna.” (Screams could be heard in the background)
“Is everything OK?” I was ready to jump in the car and haul ass home.
“Yeah. Sorry to call. But Harley wants 2 pudding cups and I told her ‘no’ but she said you let her do that. Is that all right?”
Was he serious?
“Um, yeah, that’s fine with me.”
“OK. And… where do we keep the diapers?”
Oy vey.
I noticed the woman who worked in the shop was standing 3 feet from me, arms folded across her chest, and by the look on her face, she was somewhat concerned.
I finished my conversation with Tommy and handed back the phone.
I no longer remembered why I was there.
Oh right–wedding gift.
The woman nodded her head and asked, “Everything OK with your babysitter?”
I laughed and said, “Yes. But we don’t call him ‘The Babysitter’ as much as we call him ‘The Dad.’”
It was silent for a second and then she snorted and covered her mouth.
And then we spent the next 10 minutes laughing our asses off.
Oh, and I bought the pewter serving set.
Note to husbands: When we ask you to watch your children, it’s not considered babysitting. You’re the DAD. You might wanna write this down.
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
FYI, I snorted too.
Funny. Fortunately not all dads are like that anymore. I couldn't imagine mine watching babies for more than 3 minutes.
My husband does this to–refers to it as babysitting. EVERY SINGLE time I remind him he's the DAD. Jeez.
That is hilarious.. too funny!!!
My husband still tells his parents he watched OUR kids for ME while I went shopping–grocery shopping that is.
I was ever so grateful when my husband finally crossed over into Dad-land from doingmeafavor-land. Hilarious story!
My husband regularly refers to it as babysitting and it drives me BATTY!!
Funny story, Shauna
I can so relate to this post. Every married man with kids I know calls it babysitting. I think we need to sit them all down and fill them in. I'd like to be the babysitter–if I got PAID!
That is SO TRUE! It's like their doing us some HUGE FAVOR by watching their OWN PROGENY! I'm waiting for my "sitter" right now so I can go to the store… *sigh*
You're lucky, most of them won't admit to being the babysitter. Does your ask for tips?
Yeah, that sounds pretty familiar to me. Especially the "where are the diapers" part. Dad is a synonym for "eldest son", I'm sure…
I wish you were kidding.
OMW..i totally have had this very moment..BUT not with my husband calling a store..my husband called the house that I was at..for a baby shower. Granted my oldest was only five days old..and he was only about two blocks away..but out of his own mouth he said..i don't know if I am cut out for this baby sitting thing..she keeps crying. I don't know what she wants..I laugh..and tell him..well get use to it daddy..its the same whining you are going to hear till she is 18.
I have never referred to it as babysitting in my life. Parenting is 50-50. Always.
The not getting paid part should have been his first clue although maybe he was hoping you would come home and fool around with the babysitter.
Considering I bathed our kid most of the time, changed his diapers 50% of the time, was responsible for feeding him and was the one who woke up to take care of him so my wife could sleep in every weekend, I guess you could call me a very experienced babysitter. I might fetch top dollar on the free market?
Hah – it's probably so they can still feel young. "I'm the babysitter – of these totally random kids I just met today. I normally drink beer and watch football 24/7 with my frat brothers."
Holy Shit! Are you married to my husband? Does this man by any chance call you EVERYTIME HE leaves the house? And how the F are we the only ones that know what is going on in our houses? Luckily my husband would not DARE refer to it as babysitting, I think he knows that I may unleash at that point.
I snorted too. and I might have peed my pants a little bit too.
I hear ya, sista. My hubby doesn't call it babysitting, but I still find myself on the weekends asking him if he would mind watching the kids so I can run out to do something. He never feels that same need and just randomly takes off to do his own errands without making sure I'm okay with baby duty. Why is that, I wonder? A vagina thing or what?
come on, that's unfair. there are so many places where diapers could be hidden. 'cause, you know, the kid's room is not necessarily where you keep them. It's hard. Especially when you are wondering how much harm a second pudding cup can do