I ran across a new product last week called GoGirl. It’s an interesting (read: frightening) concept that allows women to stand up while urinating. Because heaven knows sitting is such a pain in the ass. And inconvenient. What, with all the sitting.
I spoke to the founder/ceo of GoGirl and asked how she came up with the idea. She said that she got tired of squatting in public places and outdoor events. So she developed this funnel like contraption that you’re supposed to suction onto your lady bits and then the pee shoots out of a tube.
I must admit, I was intrigued. So, I took a GoGirl from her and stuck it in my bag. Her last bit of instruction? Try it in the shower before going in public.
Say wha?
Pee in the shower? Wasn’t that a Seinfeld episode? You know, the one where George practically gets skewered for peeing in the shower at the gym?
Um, no thank you. I may be a lot of things, but I’m no George Costanza.
I think I’ll practice off my back patio–like a real man.
The side of the tube reads: GoGirl allows women to urinate standing up. It’s hygienic, portable, discreet and reusable… if you don’t mind carrying around a drippy pee funnel in your purse.
(I added that last part)
Great for camping (I don’t camp), boating (I pee in the water), travel (that’s what convenience stores are for), concerts (um, porta-potty, hello?) and sports (sports what? Am I PLAYING the sport or am I WATCHING the sport? cuz either way, I think they’ll let you go to the bathroom)
Comes with the the funnel (or what I like to call, detachable penis), wipes, storage bag (fail) and convenient tube for which to discreetly hold your pink penis, except it’s not that discreet because in bold print across the front it screams THIS PRODUCT IS FOR WOMEN WHO WANT TO PRETEND THEY’RE MEN. WITH A PENIS AND ALL. BECAUSE WE MUST BE EQUAL. HOW DARE YOU TELL US WE HAVE TO SIT TO PEE. WE WILL STAND IF WE WANT. NOW GO MAKE ME TURKEY POT PIE.
This is the inside view. Know what it looks like to me? A vagina. A PINK vagina.
Am I the only one who’s a little ooged out by this?
And oddly enough? I have to pee now. I’ll let you know how it turns out. Feel free to talk amongst yourselves.
(excuses self, takes GoGirl pink vagina/penis, heads out the back door)
Several minutes pass.
On second thought, I think I’ll do it the way nature intended. Also? I peed on my foot.
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
This is so funny! I've NEVER heard of this before!
My favorite line "Now go make me turkey pot pie."
You're a riot!
Holy Cow! Where do I get one of these! I must have it for when I…
oh never mind. I can't even fake it.
I don't mind sitting or squatting. I know for SURE I don't want to attach that thing to my lady bits.
This is a funny product.
I'm going to order one right now! Thanks for sharing!
And, oh, sorry about your foot.
There goes our last refuge of independence.
You peed on your foot? You're doing it right then.
I can see wanting it for porta-potties. On second thought. I think I want to be facing that grossness even less than I want to be squatting above it. I'll just hold it or find a tree.
You were at BlogHer, weren't you? Did you get this at BlogHer? Did you go to Chicago and I completely missed meeting you? GAHHHH!!!!!
Anyway, I'd never heard of this until they appeared in Chicago at the conference and I didn't find out what the whole thing was about. I LOVE that you reviewed this product!
And I loved this post.
I had seen this on someone elses blog and thought… NotUH!!! no Way!! no woman is going to WANT to use this thing!!!
Peeing on your foot… honestly I about peed my pants reading your post..
Thanks for the fun… and Uh!!! I think I will Pass…
Great review by the way!
Does it help you miss the toilet, too?
I just found your blog, and you are funny! I love this interpretation on the gogirl.
I have seen it on other blogs that think it is great!
Being the kind of girl who never learned to squat out doors without peeing on feet or pants, I would totally buy one of these. Porta potties and convenience store bathrooms make me retch….even carrying a drippy urine fake-penis around sounds better than those options. Ploys, at least it would be my pee and not alien pee.
Great Story! OK so I went to their website out of curiosity AND….they said that it is DISHWASHER SAFE!!! NO THANK YOU I will pass on their product. LOL
Are there any instructions for how to use this product to write your name in the snow? I mean, if we're gonna pee like men, we may as well have all the 4-1-1, right? I'd think the footprints would still get in the way.
So, are you one of those that hovers over the toilet at the rest stop and gets the seat all wet, thereby making the next seven users scream?
If so, try it. If not, maybe you'll be one of the seven after her next time.
ps: got some of the disposable ones for my wife because she always complains, and she hasn't tried them yet.
I suppose if boys gave up after peeing on their feet we'd ALL sit down. Keep trying!
Please to be reading my latest post, in which the GoGirl causes me to PEE ON MY LEG. SRSLY.
I've always taunted women with their lack of ability to pee standing up, so on that level, I'm deeply threatened by this product. That was probably their intent in creating this, I'm sure.
But if women were into the practical requirements you cite here, then they'd be men, and they wouldn't need this.
And I hate to break it to you, but men also carry around a pee-stained tube all day. Peeing on your foot is like an initiation.
I'm sure all us ladies are tired of squatting in public places. Like we often do.
“Turkey Pot-pie” line is from “The Breakfast Club” – no??