why people continue to suck and also surprise me

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what is it with people (without kids) and their dislike of people (with kids). what? you were never a kid? you just showed up here on planet earth, a full grown douchey adult? i think not. although, you are douchey. bra-vo. *claps hands together and gives standing ovation*

my latest encounter with said annoying, intolerant people came yesterday at lunch. the 6 of us strolled into our usual sunday hangout for lunch, and were greeted with less than approving eyes. a couple sitting in a booth in the corner of the room took one look at us (2 teenagers, 1 adolescent, 1 toddler and 2 seemingly responsible adults *remember they didn’t know us yet so we at least looked responsible enough*) and decided–before we even sat down!!–that this arrangement wouldn’t work for them. as we took our seats at a table not so near to them, the woman got up from the booth and went looking for another place to sit. the man said, “any place else we can move?” and the woman puckered her overly lipsticked mouth and replied, “doesn’t look like there’s an empty table anywhere,” and then she threw up her hands in disgust. mind you, they had this exchange of words RIGHT IN FRONT OF US.

the irritated woman sat back down, sighed heavily, and then furrowed her brow. what the fuck was wrong with these people? ethan hadn’t climbed on the table, or under the table, or punched harley in the gut, or screamed out, or even spilled his drink yet. that came 4 and a half minutes later…in that order. we were being prematurely judged. was she correct in wanting to move? that’s not the point. but yes. i’m not saying they weren’t justified. i’m saying it’s rude to be that obvious.

so you know what i did? i did nothing to persuade ethan to do anything other than what he usually does. i let him “do his thing.” uptight couple had already decided my kids would misbehave and ruin their dining experience, so i just helped fulfill their prophecy. i showed them. and you should have seen the looks they threw my way. how dare my children speak, or heaven forbid, laugh or show some spirited excitement. for being alive. i ask you, who’s really the obnoxious ones here? (don’t you just love my overuse of drama?)

this wasn’t an unusual occurrence. this shit happens all the time when we’re all out in public together. what am i supposed to do? lock them in a basement until they’re grown? oh. wait a minute. i may be on to something. heh. excuse me for one second. note to self: look into possibly building a basement in which to lock up the children.

ok. i’m back. i wonder, why do some people hate kids? i don’t get it. i mean, if you have kids you understand why you hate them (at times), but people without kids? really? i say no. if you don’t have children then you have no reason to hate them, nor are you allowed to. they didn’t break your favorite platter, or piss in your bed, or eat the last of your dark chocolate that you were sure you hid in the perfect spot, or take over the television in your room right about the time you were going to sit down to watch grey’s anatomy.

so, no, you don’t get to act burdened, pissed off, let down, disappointed, or put out.

if anyone gets to feel these things, it’s the people with kids. in fact, WE’D like to sit at a separate table. as far away as possible. but hey, you don’t get everything you want. life’s a bitch, get over it.

here’s a thought. if you would like to legitimately feel this way (you know, about kids in public places) then please sign up below to babysit for me. don’t worry, i won’t be gone too long. just long enough to go to a restaurant for a nice quiet meal and judge the people with kids.