i’m a sicko. and no, not that kind of sicko. the sick kind of sicko. ok, maybe i’m that kind of sicko too.

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ugh, i’m sick. i feel terrible. my throat hurts so bad that every time i swallow it’s as if i’m swallowing nails.

i was achy, but not so much today. that’s good because aches, pains, and kids don’t mix well. they see me lying in the bed and they immediately assume i’m unconditionally available to fulfill every wish/whim/*need*.

so no, i don’t feel like i’m dying anymore, but i’m not exactly jumping for joy either.

yesterday i woke up feeling awful. and it was NOT the day for it. i was scheduled to appear and perform (it seems there are no limits to my functionality–i can do it all) at an event in dallas. i had to be there all day. and when i say all day, i literally mean ALL DAY. i shared my pain with tommy and he patted me on the head, fetched me 4 advil and said, “keep your chin up. just think, you’ll be home by midnight.” it was 9am. so i put on my big girl pants, slammed an energy drink and headed to dallas. thank god i was being paid well to do this.

it wasn’t midnight when i got home. it was 1:30 this morning. don’t ask. i collapsed in the bed and just as i was drifting off to sleep, ethan woke up with a raging ear ache and swollen limph nodes in his neck. i searched the medicine basket for motrin and found only the empty box. there was no bottle in sight. why exactly would i keep the box? to torture myself when i need medicine for the children only to find there is none? i’m such the trickster. too bad the only person i’m psyching out is me.

i tried convincing ethan to swallow an advil, but he kept spitting it out and yelling, “that’s lucky!” side note: ethan says “lucky” for “yucky” and “yucky” for “lucky.” don’t ask me, i have no idea what that’s about. it’s pretty funny when he says, “mommy, i’m a yucky boy.” i always say, “yep, sometimes you are.” he likes that answer.

anyway, so no go on the whole swallow a pill idea.

plan b. wait until 6am for the grocery store to open. you might ask, “what, no 24 hour drug store near you?” yes, there are several, but i was exhausted, ill, and not thinking clearly. in my present state of mind it seems to be the logical solution, but that option didn’t enter my brain space at 3am.

ethan fell asleep in my arms and i tried sleeping myself, but i couldn’t. i was holding him in an awkward position on the sofa and my head was cockeyed and i was generally uncomfortable. i hate that i’ve set up such strict parameters for sleeping. dark. fan blowing on me. quiet. positioned on left side. cool. 2 pillows–one between my legs, one for my head. i probably shouldn’t go camping anytime soon–or ever. and i probably shouldn’t go to africa. don’t you think all the jungle animals would keep me up at night? and i imagine there’s no air conditioning–or pillows.

at six o’clock on the dot, i got up, trying not to wake ethan, but my plan backfired. not only was he awake and crying, but he wanted to go to the store with me. fine. why not. 5 minutes later, we were picking out children’s pain reliever. i tore into the box before i even paid for it. ethan chewed the tablets and i felt relief in the form of acetaminophen. he’d be asleep soon and hopefully feeling better. and maybe i could go to sleep too.

ethan was out before we left the parking lot of the store.

and me? i never went to sleep. i took the e-man to the doctor (i love that my pediatrician’s office is open on the weekends!) and i was right–he has a double ear infection.

he seems to be feeling better. i, on the other hand, am not doing so well. my throat is sore. did i mention it feels like i’m swallowing nails when i swallow?

i see a big nap in my future today. but only if my kids will let me.

hey, go HERE and read this review of my book.

and then please go HERE and buy my book if you haven’t yet. pretty please? i don’t ask for much. besides you know you want to! if you’re a guy, buy it for your woman, or your mom. and if your woman IS your mom, then you might want to seek professional help. oh, and the book would make a fabulous christmas gift. (or hanukkah or kwanzaa–we don’t discriminate here)

i will even personally wrap it for you*

*not really. i’m totally lying.