we’re leaving today for florida. the whole lot of us. we’ll be there all week for the turkey holiday; also known as ‘the week i eat so much that i have to pull out my fat pants, but hey, that pumpkin pie sure was tasty.’ i guess i could NOT over eat/over indulge, but where’s the fun in that? plus i love complaining about how i gained 5 pounds and that my ass seems swollen and jiggles a lot more than normal. tommy loves it too. it’s up there on his list right next to his other favorite quirk of mine–the single black pube that grows out of my chin. go ahead, say it…i’m hot.
i saw him packing earplugs in his bag and at first i thought it was to drown out the kids’ yammering. but maybe…?
hmm. he may be getting smarter by the minute. that tommy.
anyhoo, the bad news is…we’re DRIVING 12 hours to get there! but hey, at least gas is affordable again right? all i can say is thank god for dvd players and fast food drive thrus. plus now i got my xm radio hooked up so i can listen to church sermons the whole way. see, i was told i need god in my life so i figure this is the fastest and best way to get him in there. i’ll just OD on goodness and light and threats that if i don’t surrender to jesus i’ll go to hell. it’s incredibly uplifting. god bless us everyone.
speaking of god blessing us, i just bought the newly minted commemorative plates with barack obama’s mug on it. the only bummer is that they limit you to 2. why? i think because rednecks and people who are fundamentally against change will use them for skeet practice. and that, my friends, is just wrong–but yet, mavericky. i’m keeping one for myself–i’ll be mounting it on the living room wall and the children will have to bow before it every time they pass. i think i might even surround it in neon twinkle lights–and the other one will go to someone who voted against him, thinks he’s the anti-christ, and who runs over puppies for fun. you know, grandma. but first i’ll have to remove the shotgun from under her bed. i can’t wait to see the look on her face when she opens it up at christmas. don’t worry, i’ll make sure she’s had her blood pressure medicine before i give it to her. plus i know cpr so it’s all good.
the funniest part is the commercial. oh my god. you must watch it. i’ve linked it here.
http://www.victoryplate.com/?directLoad&uid=6FCE8308C05055DED5AB2FA1FB00AE80
ok, so there you have it on this fine sunday morning. i’ll be passing through the great states of louisiana, mississippi, and alabama before arriving in santa rosa beach florida. i’ll be sure to honk and wave.
see you on the flip side.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m ordering my plates right now! You’ve just given me a great idea for Christmas gifts for those conseratives in my life who are quite vocal about their dislike of our next commander in chief.
thanks, Shauna.
Safe travels.
I can so see Tommy walking around all week with a smile on his face and earplugs in his ears.
Smart man.
are you going to wallpaper the wall holding the obama plate with the hope posters? I mean, that’s what I’m doing and I would expect nothing less from you
The big question is: Did you also get your commemorative Presidential dollar with Obama’s face on it?
Indulge all you want.
If you need any further justification, remember that this is the only holiday where piggin’ out is a matter of National pride.
That’s what we’re thankful for.
By the way, there’s more evidence of hell NOT existing, than there is of it being an actual place of eternal burning.
I’m not saying Lucifer and Co., aren’t real, but as a man of faith, I feel it’s more important to believe in the One that can create, than in the one that can destroy. If you seek, you will find.
Anyway, before I get too philosophical, happy driving. I’ve rolled that highway a few times on our way to Sarasota!
All the best!
My husband’s relatives live in Santa Rosa Beach! Very beautiful place..Nice coincidence!
Have a great thanksgiving!
I’ve wanted to make fun of those plates, but didn’t know how! So absurd.
let me see if i can address everyone:
angie: you’re welcome.
jimmy: please.
catherine (aka cat): du-uh.
leeann: yes, the coin is on its way! eeeeee!
commish: as usual, you said it best.
cttexan: cool! where in santa rosa beach? our house is on canal street off 395. tell your husband’s relatives that i’m doing a book signing on wednesday at sundog books on 30A. would love to meet them.
how to party with an infant: you thought i was making fun?
I saw the commercials for those plates and was baffled. I think they always make a limit to make people think these things are rare.
I am fundamentally against everything BHO stands for. To be honest I would rather light myself on fire then have a BHO platte in my home.
In any case I am not sure what is up with the whole commemorative plate industry. For example I love Ronald Regan but have no desire to eat chili and cornbread off of his likeness. Ron Paul is my hero but I do not want to eat soft tacos off of him. Tis kinda weird to me.