Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about White Wine.
White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.
White Wine can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.
Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine. White Wine may not be right for everyone.
Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.
WARNING: The consumption of White Wine may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of White Wine is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
WARNING: The consumption of White Wine may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of White Wine may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of White Wine may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of White Wine may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of White Wine may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
Other than that I say, go for it.
(from uk.rec.humour)
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
love it!! can’t wait to have me some pinot grigio!!! sorry we didn’t make the party…i forgot that mackenzie had a b-day party saturday morning plus we are deep into potty training and i was afraid a road trip would make us lose our momentum! i want to see more pictures of the party! post, please!
Dr Shauna,
I have been taking my daily dose of white wine as directed but I wonder: if also prescribed a daily dose of red wine should I be cutting one or both in half? Would it be prudent to mix them?
Also, I’m finding that my DWW (daily white wine) is making me look much hotter than I used to. Or at least I think so. But then someone at work asked about my hotpants and I think I should have been offended. Would a second DWW take care of that? Or should I recommend DWW to my coworker?
Thank you,
A true believer
Oh Shauna..you and your Pinot Grigio!
cat–
you are wise beyond your hot pants. i say mixing your dww with your drw only makes you smarter AND hotter.
you go girl! (snaps in a z-shape then chugs her second dose of dww)
xo
tracie–
i, myself, would love to post more pics, but no one snapped any. we were at a FUCKING PHOTOGRAPHY STUDIO no doubt.
life’s a bitch. and there you have it. i only have the memory. the memory of my speech and how thick my tongue was when i was making it. it was a beautiful, beautiful thing. sorry you missed it.
xo