ever since i got back from austin i have all this nervous energy. the conference was the most awesome experience of my life. and i’ve had some amazing experiences.
i didn’t know what to expect, with it being my first writer’s conference and all. i knew it would be a great learning experience–or i’d hoped it would, but i didn’t expect to come away with a whole new understanding of what i’m involved in.
my friend, jenn, and i arrived friday afternoon just in time for a pitch class. it was all about how to pitch your novel to agents, publishers, or anyone who would listen. it was informative, but i realized i’ve been going about the process exactly how one should go about looking for an agent. finding an agent to represent you, one that believes in you as much as you do, is nearly impossible. it’s like winning the freakin’ lottery. you’ve got to sell your ass off. i’ve already called myself a modern day hooker–and that’s exactly what i am.
i think the most endearing part of the weekend experience was meeting so many writers just like me–not like me in that we have the same personality pushing the same material, but just like me in that we feel so freakin’ helpless. we all want an agent and we all want an agent right f-ing now! but it doesn’t happen like that–it’s just the opposite. it’s a lesson in patience and perserverence and it sucks. if i didn’t absolutely love what i’m doing i would have scrapped it by now and moved on to something with a quicker payoff–maybe becoming the old fashioned kind of hooker.
anyway, the people there–most of them fellow texans, were fascinating to me. everyone had a story and his or her own reason for wanting to get published. there were the grannies who wanted to tell their life stories–the one bookers. they weren’t looking to make careers out of their writing, they just wanted someone to listen to what they had to say. i think they have it way harder than me. agents, from my limited experience, want writers who have a platform–someone who wants to sell, sell, sell.
i’m just this person. i told anyone who would listen (and my personality can be quite commanding) that i want to be a household name. i want to syndicate my present monthly column nationally, i want to publish novels, travel around the country (and maybe the planet) talking to people, doing book signings, readings, and maybe i’ll even kiss babies–wait that’s a politician’s job–but i’m not opposed to doing it.
saturday at the conference i met my “dream” agent. she had actually asked for my ms last year and pondered the idea of representing me. because she hadn’t met me and immediately fallen in love with me, she passed, but not before giving me some excellent advice. i took her advice, along with a few other agents’, and fixed the areas that needed fixing. when i introduced myself to her and told her this, she asked me to resend her my ms. that was all the boost i needed. the rest of the weekend i busted my ass selling myself and my ideas to any agent that would listen. then the most awesome thing happened. i met him. i met my agent. he’s not officially my agent yet, but he might as well be. we’re a perfect match. he’s awesome and i’m awesome and that’s the end of the story, period. it was like i’d known him my whole life and he really seemed to “get” me.
since i got home, i haven’t been able to focus on anything else. i keep running the events of the weekend through my mind–it kind of seems like a dream now. but as i wait to hear the verdict and get the call i’ve been waiting for for the last eighteen months, i’m just trying to do anything (handling my everyday responsibilities would be nice) to keep my mind busy. i have perpetual butterflies in my stomach. i’m on such a high right now…i can’t really stand it…but at the same time, i don’t want this feeling to go away…i’m so ready to get going on the rest of my life…i want this writing career to happen more than anything.
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thanks for letting me crash the serrano’s dinner at the conference. it was a blast. good luck with the agent thing.